Monsters
by xMissWhitneyBexx
Summary: Modern AU. Mary is raped and her life starts to crumble all around her. What she doesn't realise is that sometimes, people closer to home know exactly how it feels to be swallowed up by the darkness. Frary, Kennash and Catherine being a decent maternal figure. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**This is another dark, emotional story. It's based on when Mary was raped in the show but in a modern setting. It's the same premise, Francis is away and someone breaks into their home. What she doesn't realise that it has happened to someone closer to home and it will be their journey through their ordeal. I even cried when Mary backed away from Catherine in the show and that's when my walls for Catherine broke down a little.**

**As much as I don't prefer Catherine as a character, she is someone to still be looked up to. She's been broken and beaten, yet she manages to survive the harsh world that is her life. She's a saint despite her cruel ways.**

**I hope you enjoy it because I love Mary and Kenna as characters. Both are really hard to tackle so I hope I get them right like I do for my other stories.**

**Mostly Frary with Kennash.**

****Enjoy and brace yourselves.****

* * *

Mary cleared her throat, rubbing her arm through the soft fabric of her black sweater. She couldn't believe what had happened.

It was supposed to be a nice trip to visit his family in France as well as sort out some business, not _this_.

"Mary, you need to tell Francis," Catherine said gently, pushing a plaster towards her. "If you won't let me touch you, at least do it yourself. We don't want your cuts to get infected, do we?"

Mary swallowed deeply, using the antiseptic wipes to clean up her cuts before placing plasters on the spots that required it.

"I also think we should call the police-"

"No," Mary said firmly. "No police."

"Mary-"

"No police and no telling Francis," Mary cut her off. "No one needs to know. I'll stop by the doctors' tomorrow and..."

Catherine came closer. "Francis is your husband."

"We're already on thin ice, this will make things worse," Mary said, tears springing to her eyes. "All of this talk about trying and failing to have kids, it's already hard for us. Let's forget it ever happened - we've cleaned up."

"Those men will get off and you know me, I will _never_ let anyone get away with that if it happened to any of my girls. You included," Catherine told her, crossing her arms. "Mary, I know we are not the closest of in-laws, but you make my son happy."

Mary nodded. "I intend to make him _stay_ happy."

"Don't do this. Tell someone, anybody, because..."

"Why?"

Catherine looked down, shaking her head. She then sighed, looking up to meet Mary's eyes once again. She was speechless, but not about this.

"I-I was raped," Catherine confessed. "I was seventeen and... I didn't tell anyone and I've kept that with me, even when I married Henry. Now he's gone, I wish I told him. Perhaps he would have taken away the memories I had from that day sooner rather than later because I fell into a deep depression shortly after we had Francis. And even finding out about Sebastian... Dear God."

Mary gasped, her cheeks stained with tears. "I'm so sorry. I never-"

"No one knew, as I said. Those men got away with it and I guess I became a lawyer to make sure no other men got away with doing that to an innocent woman. It even can happen to men, did you know? Boys and men, girls and women alike..." Catherine trailed off, going over to stare out the window. "It's disgusting and whoever thinks that _rape_ is justified or a good thing should rot in prison."

"Catherine, I've told you. No one needs to know, _please_."

The older woman nodded sadly, but she never turned to face her. In the reflection, she could see the face of her rapist. His image was still haunting her despite her being sure that he would be very old or even dead by now.

"Monsters, Mary. No one can escape them."

...

Kenna jumped when she felt arms wrap around her waist and she turned her head to smile at Bash. She reached a hand back to cup his cheek and planted a kiss on his lips.

"Hey, Stranger. What's up?" She asked him.

"Not much. Who knew wedding planning was so stressful?" He asked, kissing her cheek and leaving her side to fill the kettle. "Want one?"

"Uh, coffee, no. Tea, yes," she replied, putting her hair up into a ponytail. "I was thinking about asking Mary to help me choose out bridesmaid dresses tomorrow since she's in the country."

Bash nodded. "Yes, that's a good idea. Might ask Francis if he wants to join me for a few races at the stables. Take a break from work and planning and everything else under the sun."

Kenna chuckled softly. "You do that," she replied, suddenly feeling the need to throw up. "Forget the tea."

She practically hurried to their bedroom and closed the door, placing a steady hand against her chest as she slid down the wall. She'd been feeling off since yesterday and she closed her eyes, trying to calm her erratic heart down. She pushed her nausea down and took steady breaths.

Life was going wonderful for her lately. She had a great job, a great fiancé, amazing friends and family... She never thought about ever being in a position like this in _years_.

Kenna looked up, staring at a photo on the dresser of her and Bash. She let out a fond smile. He was amazing, they had not got on the right foot when they met as teenagers. They knew each other as kids, her and Mary visiting his family over short Summers in France. Then she stopped going and Mary continued.

At age sixteen, Kenna was reintroduced to a nineteen-year-old Bash. He barely knew her and she barely knew him, Bash being her best friend's then-boyfriend's older brother and no longer childhood friend as the distance was evidently clear.

Until they did get close. Kenna had a relapse, her behaviour becoming silent and withdrawn and Bash was the only one who noticed. They were barely friends, mere playmates as children, but he was always the one who noticed things about people. He could read them, he could suss them out and that made him draw closer to her.

She let him in, sort of. When she couldn't get a hold of the girls, he was there on the phone to talk to her. They hung out a few times without their friendship group and he did everything he could to make her feel better.

Kenna never told him the real reason about her sudden change in behaviour from spirited, bohemian girl to the quiet, frightened girl. She wore plainer, darker clothes and he never brought it up. She styled her hair differently and took away the pretty headpieces and he never brought that up either.

She had put it down to stress from everything and he accepted, he never pushed her to find out more and she was grateful for that. Over time, he brought her back out of her shell and she slowly became the happy person she once was.

When she was eighteen, she decided she would leave Scotland overall and study in France for university. She got in contact with Bash and he offered her his studio apartment for her to stay in for free. It had been a 'well done for graduating university' present from his non-present father, Henry Valois.

He gave her the keys and moved in with his mother. He would bring over dinner and films and they would keep each other company.

Then, one day, their dynamic changed.

Kenna didn't know who initiated the kiss first, she would later come to realise that it was _her_. It was her moving on and reclaiming her body and her life again. Her allowing herself to be happy and free.

Her allowing herself to _trust_ a man and love him.

They started dating the summer before her second year and the rest was history, their friends and his brother happy that they were finally an item after all of those years of 'will they, won't they?' nonsense.

"Kenna?"

"I just feel a little bit sick, it's nothing," she quickly said, getting up to unlock the door. She rubbed her head. "I might actually stay at home."

She couldn't face Mary, not with how she was feeling. She would probably put a damper on things.

"Is there a chance that you could be...?" Bash asked, slightly hopeful as he put a hand on her small waist.

She frowned. "I-I don't know. Maybe? I wouldn't get our hopes up, it's never happened for us before," she said, waving it off. "There's no point in-"

"It won't hurt to check," he said, heading into their bathroom to dig through the medicine cabinet.

Kenna inwardly groaned. She never felt sick nor had she been feeling the symptoms of pregnancy.

She would know because it did happen. As a young teenager, she went with Mary to the clinic and did the most unthinkable thing she could ever do.

She knew her own body.

Watching her fiancé grab a few pre-bought tests made her nervous and she could feel the air leave her lungs.

"Here, I knew I bought some two weeks ago," he said, handing the three tests to her. "Go on then, usual spot."

Despite her doubt, she laughed and stared him down as she pulled her leggings and underwear down before sitting on the toilet.

She grabbed a plastic cup, deemed the 'pregnancy cup', and peed into it before sticking all three tests into the liquid.

"Wait, _you_ bought the tests?" She asked, giggling a little. "Did you get weird looks?"

"Why would I?" Bash asked, leaning against the sinks with his arms crossed. "It's weird for a man to buy pregnancy tests for his partner now?"

"I don't know," she said, shrugging. "Do you get looks buying sanitary towels?"

He laughed. "Like you won't imagine. Not weird looks, looks of jealousy or awe," he told her. "From women who wish their man would do the same for them without squealing. It's natural, I grew up with many half-sisters even though from a distance."

Kenna grinned, standing up to pull her underwear and leggings back up. She picked the cup up and placed it on the corner of a sink before washing her hands. She felt his arms wrap around her waist and she brought a hand back to rub the back of his neck.

"Kenna, you've been off," he stated, kissing her cheek. "Want to let me in?"

Kenna shook her head. "It's nothing, Bash. Honestly, I think it's just stress and I feel so anxious..."

"I get it," Bash said. "I'm anxious too. We're getting married, Kenna. We'll move out of this little apartment and buy a house with the white picket fence you've always dreamt of. Baby, we've got our whole lives ahead of us and we're doing it together."

Kenna gasped in happiness, her lips about to touch his but she was distracted by the timer going off on his phone. She didn't even notice he'd made a timer. She removed her hand from his neck and picked the tests up, covering the results.

"Oh my God," she breathed out, her heart loud in her ears. "A-Are you ready?"

Bash nodded, gently prying her hand from the results to check. He gasped. "K-Kenna?"

"Yes?" Kenna asked, wincing.

"Three weeks."

"Huh?" She asked, confused.

A smile grew on his face and she screamed, looking at the results for herself. Maybe, that is why she didn't feel the symptoms, she was only three weeks or so gone through.

She launched herself into his arms, dropping the tests onto the floor as she placed a deep kiss on his lips. She grinned when he lifted her so her legs could wrap around his waist as he placed her down to sit on the sinks.

"Hi, Papa Bear," she whispered when they pulled apart. "We're going to be..."

"We're going to be parents," Bash breathed out, kissing her again. "You see? I told you so."

Kenna stared at him in disbelief. Maybe he was right. Maybe today was a sign that she had to let go of her past because now, there was a little future growing inside of her. A little her or a little him.

Her lips puckered sadly. "I'm going to be fat on my wedding day! I had the perfect dress as well!"

Bash raised his eyebrows. He looked at her for a while, as if he was memorising every inch of her face. Then, laughter erupted from his lips and he brushed her hair away from her eyes.

"You'll only be two months or so pregnant, Kenna. You can get your dress altered and everything will be fine," he promised. "Should we tell everyone?"

Kenna quickly shook her head. "Aren't you meant to wait until the thirteenth week or something? I-I don't want to jinx anything and you _know_ how superstitious your mother's side is."

"Yeah," he whispered. "That's true... So we have ten weeks to wait."

Kenna grinned. "Well, it will be after our honeymoon. People will know exactly how successful you are."

He feigned modesty. "Oh, come on. It wasn't _all_ me."

"Oh?" She asked coyly. "Well, should we celebrate our news?"

She let out a squeal when he lifted her up and deposited her on their bed, attacking her cheeks, neck and chest with kisses. She sighed happily, running her fingers through his hair when his lips finally rested on her tummy.

"I love you, Bash," Kenna said softly.

"I love you too, Kenna. With all my heart," Bash replied, placing an ear against her stomach. "And I love you too, Pea."

"Pea?" Kenna asked him, giggling.

"I assume it's the size of one," he stated. "We're going to be parents."

Kenna smiled sadly. "Yes, yes we are..."

Her smile disappeared and her mind drifted to the awful memories of her past. Tears slipped down her cheeks.

...

Mary got up from her seat when she heard the front door opened. She walked to the foyer and found her husband lean his head against the wall, his eyes closed in slight stress or annoyance.

"Francis?" She nervously called his name.

He jumped, turning to face her. His blue eyes met her browns and his lips settled into a warm smile as if the weight on his shoulders had left his body.

"Hey, Mary," he whispered, walking over to her.

Mary flinched, backing away and she knew he noticed because he wore a look of hurt on his face as he raised his hands. She started to shake, tears running down her cheeks.

"God, what's happened, Mary?" Francis asked her. "Mary, you're scaring me."

Catherine was right. She had to tell him. She couldn't let him be oblivious when she was obviously frightened of him coming to her and touching her.

"Francis! You're back!"

She turned around and saw Catherine give her a nod as she came down the stairs to greet her son. Mary watched as Catherine kissed his cheeks and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"How about we get some dinner down you?" She asked her son. "I think Mary is just restless from all the things we did today."

"Mary?"

Mary swallowed deeply. "I think I just need some sleep. Today has been _stressful_."

She was such a good liar because he visibly relaxed and followed Catherine to the kitchen. Heartbroken, she made her way upstairs and answered a few texts from Kenna. She felt like her world was crashing down and she sank to the ground the second she stepped into the bedroom.

Mary curled into a ball, sobs escaping her lips. She couldn't believe it, the taste of sour bile in the back of her throat.

How was he going to react? He would never ever want her again. He wouldn't want to touch her or to kiss or make love to her. He wouldn't want her to bear his children because she would be tainted in his eyes.

A few hours later, Francis found her on the ground.

"No, it's definitely something," he said softly. "Tell me."

As he reached out to lift her up, she began screaming. She begged him not to come near, not to touch her and he backed away, frightened of her reaction. She felt hot like she was on fire and she covered her face.

"Mary, _please_," her husband begged, his own tears falling. "You can tell me-"

"She was raped," Catherine's voice cut him off quietly. "She was raped, Francis."

Mary's wet eyes met Francis's and all she remembered before she shut down was him falling to his knees in shock.


	2. Chapter 2

Mary leant her back against the headboard of the bed, wrapping her arms around her legs as her chin rested on her knees. She could feel Francis's gaze on her and she closed her eyes, her body trembling.

"Mary, talk to me," Francis begged her. "What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing," she whispered, sniffling. "Just d-don't touch me."

Francis quickly nodded. "Okay. Do you want me to stay?"

Mary shrugged. She didn't know what she wanted. She knew she loved Francis with all of her heart, but he wasn't there. He wasn't there to protect her, he promised to always protect her in their vows.

"You weren't there," she mumbled. "Why weren't you there?"

Francis froze. His eyes widened and he tried to shake his head, but he found that he couldn't. He wasn't _there_. Why wasn't he there? He didn't necessarily have to go into work, he could have done it over the phone or even back home from England. This was his fault.

"Mary-"

"Don't," she croaked out. "You weren't there."

Francis looked away, tears springing to his eyes. "Should I go?"

"No," she whispered. "Stay."

Mary didn't know what was real or what was fake. Was he really here, blonde curls and all? She eyed him, but he wasn't even looking at her. He was staring at the ground in shame and she didn't know what do to.

"I called the police," Francis confessed after a while. "My mother has a few contacts in the force and they're on their way."

"Wh-what?" Mary breathed out, releasing her grip on her legs. "Why did you do that?!"

"Mary-"

"I don't want them to come. T-Tell them to go-"

Francis shifted, his hands about to touch her to hug her but he stopped when he saw her eyes widen in fear. "Mary, I will _never_ hurt you."

"But you did," Mary said, crying. "You hurt me many times."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Don't lie," she said. "Tell Catherine to stop them from coming."

Francis shook his head sadly. "I made sure that they were women. I also asked my mother to retrieve the evidence. Mary... we need your clothes."

Mary looked down at her clothes, her fingers pressing against the black fabric. She'd been wearing a skirt but she changed it into pyjama shorts shortly before Francis returned.

"No," she told him.

He let out a sigh. "It's either me or a stranger."

"I want neither."

"Should I get my mother?" He offered instead.

Mary contemplated it. It was either the touch of a man who wasn't there for her or a stranger. _Or_ she could have someone who had been through this before, who understood how it felt.

"Yes," she whispered.

Her eyes followed him getting up and leaving. Soon after, she saw Catherine come in first and close the door behind her. At least she didn't lock it, she couldn't handle the door being locked.

What if they locked the door and she couldn't escape or someone couldn't save her? What if they locked the door and used that to delay help as they slit her throat and took away her body and soul?

"Mary, breathe with me," Catherine's voice sounded inaudible in her thoughts. "Breathe..." It was becoming clearer, her mind clearing from the fog. "In and out..."

Mary inhaled deeply before she exhaled. She wished her mother was here even though the woman was obviously absent in her life. Marie only came when she wanted something or was in trouble. She had long since stopped asking questions, hoping that she could spend whatever time her mother had left before she disappeared once again with no word or took whatever could stop her from acknowledging the world around her.

"Mary-"

Before Catherine could continue, Mary's phone rang and she picked it up and gave it to the brunette. She saw Mary look at the caller ID, let out a shaky sigh before sliding the green button across the screen to answer it.

"K-Kenna?" Mary whispered.

_"Hey, Mary!"_ Kenna's cheery voice came through the phone. _"Right, I was thinking, well hoping, if you could come and look at bridesmaid dresses with me tomorrow morning? I know you'll choose wisely for all of you."_

Mary closed her eyes, pressing two fingers against the side of her head. She knew that Kenna would be calling soon to ask because they had somewhat planned for this even before she and Francis stepped into France.

_"Mary? Are you there? Hello...?"_ Kenna asked in confusion. _"This bloody phone... Always has poor connect-"_

"I'm here," Mary mumbled. "Sorry, was miles away."

Kenna sighed. _"Oh. W-We don't have-"_

"I'll see you at ten tomorrow morning. Sorry, I have to go right now, but I love you," Mary told her, wiping the tears that had unknowingly fallen down her porcelain cheeks.

_"Right!"_ Kenna said. _"Love you too and I'll see you tomorrow, babe!"_

Mary hung up, placing her phone onto the nightstand. She felt sick, but she couldn't let her best friend down. Maybe she could seek advice, Kenna would understand. Kenna understood a lot of things and she wouldn't judge. She would make things better.

"What did she want?" Catherine asked gently.

Mary swallowed the rising vomit in her throat down. "B-Bridesmaid dresses... We p-planned a while back and-"

"The police would want to-"

"I can't cancel on her. It's her big day and I don't want to ruin it," Mary mumbled. "I'll be fine. I need to talk to her anyway."

Catherine nodded. "Do you want me to come?"

Mary shook her head. "Some secrets are better left between two people only."

...

The next day, Mary followed Kenna as the woman babbled on about the different bridesmaid dresses she wanted to see her friends wear. Mary watched on. She could tell her friend was excited and more bubbly and hyper than usual, but she couldn't bring herself to share the same excitement.

Until Kenna halted and Mary almost bumped into her. She quickly planted a fake smile on and brushed her fingers over a neon pink dress.

"Kenna, you wouldn't be caught dead in this dress let alone your bridesmaids!" She said, pulling it out to mock it even more.

But Kenna already had her sussed out. "Out with it and tell me what is going on with you."

"Wh-what?" Mary asked, frowning. She put the dress back and crossed her arms in defence.

Kenna gave her a pointed look. "Normally you'd be all over this. You have been more excited than I have been during the planning of this wedding because Catherine and your mother refused to let you plan yours! What's wrong, Mary?"

Mary swallowed nervously, her eyes darting away from Kenna's. "It's nothing."

"Did you and Francis have an argument or did you and Catherine butt heads over something?" Kenna asked her, crossing her own arms. "Mary, I am your best friend. You can tell me anything."

Mary sighed heavily, her eyes meeting her friend's. If there was one person she would open up to and allow to touch her, it was Kenna, the best friend of her entire lifetime. Kenna understood more than she let on and they had been by each other's side through the good times and the bad. Mary was there for her, ready with her fake ID at the abortion clinic, it was time for her to open up.

"Should we get a coffee and take a walk?" Mary asked her friend.

Kenna nodded. "Let me cancel this appointment and we'll go. I can't believe Bash called in to have it close for us whilst we were here. He's great, honestly," she muttered, heading over to the store employee as she rifled through her bag for something.

Mary resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She knew her friend was in love with the finer things, but one thing she loved more than money was Bash and that same Bash would kill for her. It wasn't always the case, but now it seemed to be that they were perfect soulmates despite their rocky relationship in the past.

Her and Francis, on the other hand, started off as soulmates but now she wasn't so sure. After last night, he tried to help her but she didn't him near her. She couldn't let him love her when she wasn't sure if she loved herself. She couldn't let him be there when he wasn't there as it happened.

"Come on, let's go," Kenna said, coming over to link their arms before they left.

At the coffee shop, Mary noted that Kenna went with decaf tea as opposed to her usual order. Kenna never was one for coffee, but she did like the occasional latte with caramel, heaps of sugar and cinnamon. Mary stuck with tea as well but made sure it was caffeinated. She couldn't allow herself to fall asleep.

They left the shop, settling into a comfortable silent walk. Mary knew that although Kenna would press her, she wouldn't force her to talk if she didn't want to. But then again, it was Mary who offered to confess all and Kenna knew exactly how it felt.

"How have you been?" She asked first, feeling awkward.

Kenna bit back a nervous grin. "I've been great. Everything is slotting into place, but you know... Good days and bad," she replied, giving Mary a sad smile.

Mary nodded sadly, the urge to smile failing her. "K-Kenna, do you remember when you... when you were..."

Kenna froze and they stopped walking. She gave Mary a stern glare and held her head up high. She couldn't believe that Mary was bringing that up, the most awful time in her entire life.

"It's in the past-"

"Did you tell Bash?" Mary quickly cut her off. She had to know even though she told Francis. She needed to know if Bash helped Kenna through it as Francis was trying to help her.

"How on Earth could I ever tell him that I was raped and got rid of my baby, Mary?" Kenna asked in disbelief, her voice breaking. "He'll leave me."

Mary rubbed her head. "He won't. We both know he worships the ground you walk on."

"Not after learning what I did, he won't. Why are you bringing that up?" Kenna asked, anxiously rubbing her shoulder as if someone had burnt her.

Mary's eyes watered and she faced Kenna fully. "I am bringing it up because... because I was... I was-"

Kenna didn't even need her to say the words. She quietly brought Mary into her arms and hugged her tightly, her eyes closing in shock and sympathy. She could feel Mary's tears wet her neck and she tightened her grip.

"I'm so sorry..."

"I-I don't know what to do, Kenna. I-I can't-"

"Shh, I get it," Kenna whispered. "I'm here. I'm here, Mary. I have you."

...

They ended up at Bash and Kenna's. Mary walked around the living area, picking up photos and placing them back down. She walked over to the stainless steel fridge and saw a photo of her, Kenna, Francis and Bash in happier times, in the better days shortly after she and Francis got married and invited the other couple for a couples' week away.

Now, she couldn't stand the smiling Mary in the photo. She wanted to warn her that everything would change and she'd be a monster, tainted and dirty and disgusting. She would be untouchable and impure.

She looked away and sat down, dragging her tea to her chest and taking a tentative sip from the lukewarm drink. It tasted alright, but then the urge to vomit came back and she pushed the cup away, covering her face.

Kenna sat down beside her, sighing heavily before she turned to Mary. "You can stay here if you want. I know you wouldn't want to go back to the estate."

Mary shook her head, her hands still concealing her face. "Francis and I are returning home to London. He wanted to get the first flight out of here whilst the police began their investigation.." She bit her lip, looking up to face Kenna. "I don't know what to do. How did you do it?" She asked her friend, she felt hopeless.

Kenna picked at her nails, avoiding Mary's gaze. "Mary, you know how I did it," she said numbly.

"Do you regret not turning him in?" Mary asked her gently.

"My parents fired him, that's more than enough," Kenna said, her voice strained. "We made a deal and that was it. We wouldn't tell anyone and he could get on with his life as long as he didn't ever hurt another _child_ l-like that."

Mary sat back in her seat, picking at a loose thread on her navy sweater. "He manipulated you, Kenna. He abused his role as your private tutor and sexually assaulted you. Not once, not twice but four times."

"And these men broke into your home and assaulted you once," Kenna retorted gently. "You will remember their faces, their touch, their words and the horrible memories that came with them, and no one will know the pain or even the things that were going through your mind if there were any... But they will forget and that is unfair. I chose to give Evan another chance. Don't let these men get away with it if you can control it."

"But I can't," Mary said, her voice breaking. "I feel like my world's ending and... I am scared of my own husband's touch. I'm scared of Francis's touch, Kenna! Francis who we've known since we were _kids_. Who's slept with me, touched me where I believed no other man would touch me... I'm _terrified _of being in the same airspace as him. H-He wasn't even there to stop them..."

Kenna swallowed her discomfort down, reaching out to take Mary's hand. "I was terrified as well. I pushed every boy and man away, and I became a shell of who I once was. Until Bash, I never touched a man. I was scared to start a sexual relationship with him because I felt like it wasn't my body. I felt disgusted by myself, of my own body and I couldn't accept it. Bash made me feel so special and he always made sure that I was satisfied. He put me first and always asked permission to do anything with me even not knowing what happened to me. I let him in and that was when I knew that I could be happy and have a healthy sexual relationship. I stopped second-guessing and resenting myself. I healed, Mary."

"Even if you know that Evan is still around? Out there?" Mary asked quietly.

Kenna nodded firmly. "Why do you think I moved to a different country entirely, Mary?" She asked back, giving her a wry smile. "It's been years since I've been home and I guess I'm still not ready to face... to face all that."

"So you're not over it?" Mary asked, heartbroken. Did that mean she would never move on?

Kenna opened her mouth but no words came out. Her eyes stung with tears and she nodded sadly. "Y-Yeah. It may be ten years since it happened, but it's in the past and I'm getting over it and moving on, and I'm..."

"You're what?" Mary breathed out fearfully.

Kenna blinked her tears away, giving Mary a hesitant chuckle. "I'm pregnant, Mary."

Mary's face fell and she turned away from Kenna, retrieving her hand back onto her lap. This week couldn't get any worse, could it? First, she got raped and now her friend, her best friend who wasn't even trying or hoping for a baby just miraculously got pregnant when she'd been trying for bloody years.

"Mary-"

"Congratulations, Kenna," Mary said, shaking. "I'm happy for you and Bash, I really am."

"Mary-" Kenna whispered, trying to take her hand back but Mary brushed her away.

"You'll be wonderful parents, truly," Mary whispered, tears falling down her cheeks. "Uh, how far along are you?"

Kenna sniffled. "Th-Three weeks. Bash and I never planned-"

"I can't stop you from having a baby, Kenna," Mary cut her off once again. "Planned or not, I can't be upset about something that happens for everyone else. It's life and I don't need to be consoled."

"Mary, I am so sorry. I know you and Francis have been struggling and with what happened... I shouldn't have said anything-"

"I... I have to go," Mary said, getting up from the table. "Good luck, Kenna. I really do wish you the best."

Kenna let out a sob, standing up to hug Mary tightly. She felt saddened even more when Mary didn't reciprocate. "Stay, please. I-I can get you through this and we can-"

"No, you need to focus on the wedding and the baby," Mary told her, letting out a weak smile. "Your life is going well right now and I can't ruin that-"

"Ruin what? Mary, you're practically my sister, I'll never ever be happy when you're hurting. You hurting means that I will hurt and I can't do that to you," Kenna told her. "Cancel the flights, and you and Francis stay in France. We can talk things out, see what we can do to help you."

Mary backed away, heading over to a cabinet she and Kenna were well fond of. The alcohol cabinet. She got a bottle of Vodka and poured it into a cup taken from the dish rack by the sink. She downed it whole, wincing at the taste.

"Shame. Normally, we'd both be drowning our sorrows but someone got herself pregnant," Mary bitterly said. "Guess it's more for me."

She heard Kenna's phone bleep with messages and she watched her friend scan them, biting her lip nervously. She already knew who was texting her and why they were texting her.

Kenna looked up, her eyes watering. "Mary, let me take you home."

Mary glared at her. "I thought you said that I could stay?"

"You can, but the police want to-"

"I don't care what the police want, Kenna!" She cried out. "It's me it happened to, not them! They don't tell me what to do."

Kenna let out a sob. "Mary, I-I know. But as I said, don't let them get away with it because I still regret it!" She said. "I wonder if he hurt other women as well. We don't want someone else to be targetted, Mary!"

"So I'm an example? A test run?" Mary retorted.

"O-Of course you're not," Kenna replied. "But you... you are strong. The strongest person I know and I know you can do this."

Mary placed the Vodka and cup down and collected her coat from the back of the seat. "Okay."

"Okay," Kenna whispered, sighing in relief. "Okay."

...

Apparently, dealing with the police was the easy bit. Over the two days, she had been swabbed, prodded and poked for evidence. Her clothes had been given in, her samples were taken. Questioned, questioned and questioned some more.

She told Francis that they should indefinitely stay in France as the investigation was ongoing, but that was the only bit of communication she gave her husband before retreating into herself that day.

She sat at the bay window of the kitchen, watching the rain pour outside. She heard Francis speak to a police officer about collecting evidence in the room where it happened and other things as these men were not first-time robbers apparently.

They had made their way through the back doors. They were open because Mary had wanted the fresh air to come in as she was cooking and now she regretted it.

She eyed the doors.

Catherine tutted from her seat, getting up to shake the handles. The doors were locked securely and she gave Mary a small smile, wanting to rest her mind on that at least.

Mary looked away and leant her head against the cool glass, closing her eyes. She could see the man's face and she let out a whimper, opening her eyes again.

Her hands shook and Catherine sat by her feet, taking her hands in her own.

"Breathe, Mary. Breathe..." Catherine said softly, ignoring the stares they were getting. "In and out. Do it with me - in and out."

Mary followed her instructions, pressing the side of her head deeper into the window. In and out... In and out... She let out one last exhale and closed her eyes again.

"Thank you very much," she heard Francis say. "Let me show you out."

The room was quieter, Mary's hands still in Catherine's. She seemed to be the only person she could stand touching her for long periods of time. Even Kenna's touch felt like acid once she found out about her best friend's pregnancy.

She didn't even know that they'd been trying, but from Kenna's nervousness, she could tell that the pregnancy was unexpected. Mary even knew that the woman tried so hard to not get pregnant after her past, but she must have missed a day on her birth control. Why did Kenna betray her like that and miss that damned day?

"I don't know about you," Catherine started, getting up. "But I need a drink. A strong one at that."

Mary's eyes followed Catherine heading towards the bar, selecting a hard liquor. She poured three glasses and turned to face Mary.

"I'll make yours a double, shall I?"

Mary didn't bother answering as she got up to take the drink and down it. She gestured for Catherine to pour more and sighed in relief when she did. Then she returned to her seat just as Francis entered the room.

"What do you want me to do, Mary?" He asked her, accepting a drink from his mother. "What do you want me to do? I'm your husband, I love you no matter what."

"How?" She snapped, finally giving him a sign of life since that morning before she left for her day out with Kenna. "How can you love me when I've been... I've been..." Her throat closed up and she shook, taking a trembling sip from her glass. "I've been tainted."

Francis scoffed. "Tainted?"

"Francis, I was raped," she told him firmly. "Someone broke into our home, attacked me and raped me. I-I can't breathe, I can't sleep and I hate the idea of someone touching me. I hate the idea of you being in the same room as me."

"Then I'll give you time," he replied, hurt. "I'll sleep in the guest bed-"

"Maman! We're home!" Claude's voice called out.

Francis pinched the bridge of his nose and his facade immediately changed when he saw Claude and their younger siblings enter the room. He lifted Emone into his arms, planting a kiss onto her cheek.

"Hey, everyone," he said, placing his sister down.

Mary sighed and got up, letting Francis and his mother greet his siblings. She left the room and headed upstairs to their bedroom, placing the cup onto the nightstand.

She closed the door and stripped her clothes off. She headed into the en-suite and started to run a bath. She had to wash everything off. She already had a shower after the trip to the police station, but she needed to wash everything off again.

After the bath had been run, she got inside and lowered herself into it slowly. She closed her eyes, tears brimming as she began to rub her arms with soap. She started to scrub harder, scratching herself until she was red and pink.

Opening her eyes, she looked down and saw the bathwater stained red. Whimpers escaped her lips and she scrubbed even harder, her newly formed scratches bleeding even more.

It hurt and stung but Mary didn't care. Sobs mixed with blood and skin underneath her nails made her shake violently, the water spilling onto the floor below.

Then it came.

The scream.

"Mary!"

Mary buried her face in her hands, letting Catherine's arms hug her tightly. She noted that the woman didn't care about getting her expensive clothes wet, she just needed someone.

"Oh, dear God. Look at this..." Catherine muttered, her eyes scanning the bloody water. "Come on out, I will get you a towel."

Mary complied. She was naked, but Catherine didn't care as she wrapped a towel around Mary just as Mary stepped onto the floor. She pressed a kiss onto the side of Mary's head and led her back into the bedroom, seating her on the bed.

"Pyjamas, which drawer?"

Mary shakily pointed to the top left one and Catherine walked to it and retrieved a fresh set of pyjamas for her.

"Drink that Scotch," the matriarch said.

Mary gulped and took the glass, downing it whole. She placed the empty glass back onto the nightstand and sighed in relief. After being given her pyjamas, she got dressed as Catherine busied herself with making the bed more comfortable for her.

As Mary dressed, Catherine couldn't help but look at the bruises that roamed her daughter-in-law's back. She couldn't tear her eyes away, her hand going to her mouth in shock and disgust. She couldn't believe the monsters who did this to her.

She and Mary weren't close, but Mary was still her eldest child's wife and she had a respect for her. It was hard, Catherine knew. She had done the same song and dance in her younger years and now, she had to be strong enough to help this innocent woman get through the same trauma she had back in the day.

"Get in, Mary," she said softly when Mary was done. "I'll stay here until you sleep."

It took thirty minutes to help Mary fall asleep and as Catherine stood, she felt something grip her hand tightly.

"Don't go," Mary croaked out, opening her eyes as she awakened again. "Please."

Catherine nodded, blinking her tears away. "Where on God's Earth will I go except here with you?"

She sat back down and brushed Mary's hair from her eyes, stroking her cheek.

"Sleep, Mary. I won't leave your side at all."

...

Kenna shoved Bash's hands away and she turned to see his face fall. He looked annoyed or upset and now, he shook his head and walked into their bedroom. She hadn't meant to push him away, but after what she knew, she couldn't cope with the touching and the longing looks. Not right now.

But then she felt guilty and she had to swallow her secrets down and do right by him.

"Bash," she said, entering their bedroom.

He was sitting on the bed, his face in his hands. "I know we said we would wait, but I told Francis."

Kenna blew a puff of air out her lips. "I told Mary."

Bash looked up in surprise. "H-How did she take it?"

"Not too well."

"Same for Francis. We... We got into an argument and he left."

Kenna sighed, sitting beside him. "I'm sorry. I guess we should have been more sensitive. They've been trying for years and it's not like we were trying right? We were just going with the flow and I happened to fall pregnant. It's not our fault, we didn't will it-"

She broke out in sobs and she clutched onto Bash, his arms immediately wrapping around her. She didn't deserve to be happy, not whilst Mary's world was burning down all around her. She felt guilty and she shouldn't have missed that bloody day. Just before she took her birth control, Bash had surprised her. It had been their anniversary and she would admit, she was brazen throughout the day.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, wiping her tears. "Bash, there's something I need-"

"I want to make it up to Francis," he cut her off. "Francis is my brother and I know how much this upsets him. Do you think it's inappropriate to make them godparents? It's not like it won't ever happen for them, right?"

Kenna smiled softly, cupping his cheek. "You're so sweet. But we should give them time."

Bash leant his forehead against hers and nodded. "We should. Do you want to lie down? I don't want you to be stressed out and it's getting late."

"Yeah," she whispered, positioning herself on the bed. "Bash?"

"Yes, Kenna?"

She sighed heavily. "I want to thank you."

"For what?" He asked, smiling a little.

"You... You fixed me when I thought I couldn't repair myself ever again," she whispered, her eyes watering once again.

"W-What do you mean?"

She waved it off. "Nothing. I'm just being emotional. My hormones..." She began laughing, leaning her head back. "God... I love you."

"I love you too," Bash replied, laying on the bed and resting his chin on his fist. He pressed his ear against her stomach and placed a kiss onto it. "Don't worry, Pea. Uncle Francis and Aunt Mary just need a while, but they love you."

"They do," Kenna mumbled, closing her eyes. "They really do..."

...

Mary opened her eyes, staring into the darkness. She turned her head to see Catherine on the other side, fast asleep.

As quiet as she could, she got out of the bed and tiptoed out of the room. She headed downstairs to the bar and got a bottle of Whiskey. She opened it and took a sip before making her way to the coat closet where she slipped her jacket on and put her shoes on as well.

She headed back to the foyer and opened the door, leaving the house. It was past three in the morning, but she didn't care as she walked down the driveway and out of the door by the gates.

She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes shut to feel the cool air on her face. She exhaled and sipped from the bottle before continuing on. She just had to get out of that house. His face kept haunting her dreams and the fact that she didn't fight back after they overpowered her. She gave up.

Mary let it happen, she let the man take her and she didn't fight back. She shivered, her skin crawling with the foreign touches. The more she thought, the more she drank.

She had to get rid of the memories and the touches and the...

Mary vomited, stumbling onto a tree as she hurled. She had barely eaten, only the morsels Catherine shoved down her throat for dinner as Francis spoke with the police.

Ensuring that everything was out, Mary wiped her mouth and drank more of the Whiskey to remove the acid in her mouth. She spat some out, realising that at some point, she bit her tongue. She spat the blood out, taking another sip from the bottle.

Then she continued on walking, tears now slipping down her cheeks. She scratched at her head, looking around to see where she was but she couldn't recognise anything. She was always in a car driven by a chauffeur so she never had the need to look up from whatever she was doing to note where the Valois family lived.

It was a peaceful bit of land, the neighbours a fair distance away. Mary didn't know why the thieves targetted them. Well, the police had said it may have been because of her husband's family's wealth. She had a wealthy family, but she wasn't known in France.

She liked the anonymity she had in France.

Now, that had been tainted and until this case was shut and done, she would never step foot in France for as long as she breathed after. Nothing could change her mind.

By the first hour, Mary felt her feet starting to get tired. She looked around and found that she was nearing a bridge. It was a small bridge over a small canal and she walked up to it. She stopped short of the start of the bridge and seated herself on a chopped down tree stump.

"Why me?" She asked, her brows creasing. "Why me, God? Why me?"

Her question repeated itself and she could slowly feel the crippling fear of remembering those men's faces. She lifted the bottle up to eyesight and sighed when there was only a quarter left.

She finished it whole.

Mary stood back up and threw the bottle onto the ground, watching as it smashed into pieces. It was pretty, the moonlight hitting the bottle at just the right angels and she bent down to inspect the glass, reaching out to pick up the neck which seemed to still be intact.

She winced when she cut herself and brought her finger to her eyes, seeing it bleed. Sobs escaped her lips and she screamed.

Mary screamed and screamed and screamed until her voice was hoarse and she was blind with tears. She started to cough, inhaling lungfuls of air when she felt like she couldn't breathe anymore.

She probably looked crazy. If anyone were to pass her, she would look insane and probably be admitted to an insane asylum.

But it was quiet.

She sat there for five minutes before she finally got back up and continued to walk.

Mary had no destination.

She didn't think she wanted one either.


	3. Chapter 3

Kenna blindly reached for her phone in the darkness. She could hear it buzz annoyingly and she rolled her eyes when she turned to see Bash sleeping soundly. The man could sleep through an earthquake.

She lifted her phone to her line of sight and squinted at the bright light. It was Francis calling at five in the bloody morning. She frowned, reaching over Bash to grab his phone. She pressed the 'home' button and saw that Francis hadn't called him.

Returning Bash's phone, she answered hers.

"Francis?"

_"Is Mary there?"_

Kenna frowned. "N-No-"

She turned to the bedroom door when she heard the doorbell.

"One minute," she told Francis as Bash woke up to groan at the sudden noise. "I've got it, mon amour. Go back to sleep."

Kenna got out of bed, heading of the bedroom and to the intercom. She saw on the security camera that it was Mary and she kept ringing the bell, looking around anxiously.

"Francis, she's here. Don't worry, come later in the morning," she said, letting Mary in.

_"Thank you, Kenna. Goodnight."_

"Night."

"Who is it, chérie?" Bash called out from the bedroom.

"It's Mary. Go back to sleep, Bash!" She replied, opening the door.

Kenna leant against the wall and waited until Mary finally got to it. Once the other woman entered, Kenna gasped at the blood soaking her hand and quickly closed the door.

"Come," she commanded, leading Mary to the guest bathroom and seating her on the closed toilet seat. "What happened?"

Mary bowed her head. "I had to leave," she said hoarsely. "I couldn't stay there."

Kenna shakily sighed, retrieving the First Aid Kit from the medicine cabinet. "Okay, my offer still stands. You can stay here, Bash won't mind."

"No, I can't-"

"It's fine."

Mary nodded. "Okay." She couldn't argue with Kenna. Kenna was one of those people who won every battle, petty or not.

As Kenna sorted out her hand, realising that it wasn't as bad as she thought - it was just a tiny cut on her finger, Mary stared at the ground. She felt cold despite the heavy coat she wore. She felt tired, despite not being able to sleep properly. She felt weak, despite being the strongest person her friend knew.

"I don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep," Kenna said, getting up. "Do you want to walk?"

Outside, Mary hesitantly linked her arm with Kenna's, inhaling the fresh morning air. She felt calmer, relaxed but sometimes she scratched at the bruises on her wrists. They felt painful and Kenna gently held one, rubbing the bruise in circles.

"I didn't fight back," she told Kenna, her voice barely above a whisper. "I-I let it happen. I let them..."

Kenna swallowed deeply, shaking her head. "No, Mary. There were _many_ of them. How were you supposed to fight all of them off? You did your best-"

"You let Evan do it," Mary stated.

"I-I can't believe that you would..."

"Why did you, Kenna?"

Kenna stopped to look at Mary's red, tear-stained cheeks. "I... I thought I loved him and he loved me. I didn't know right from wrong. I was fourteen, I didn't know any better, Mary. Sometimes I didn't want him to touch me and other times, I wanted it because he made me want him. He got into my head and I'll never forgive myself for that. Especially after I got pregnant with his baby."

Mary stared at her in wonder. "I always thought that you weren't to blame, but after what happened to _me_. It is our faults-"

"What the fuck are you saying?" Kenna snapped, resisting the urge to slap her. "_Our_ faults?"

Mary burst into sobs, nodding. "I felt so powerless-"

"Mary, it was never _our_ faults! They broke into your home, Mary!" Kenna screamed at her, her hands going to her shoulders. "You're meant to feel _safe_ in your home, but they took that away from you!"

"Kenna, what happened to me is different from what happened to you. A stranger took something from me and someone you knew took something from you," Mary told her sadly.

Kenna frowned, looking away. "Mary, rape is rape. Stranger or not, rape is rape."

Mary nodded stiffly. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to... I'm... I should leave. Forget about-"

"No."

"Kenna-"

"You're hurting," Kenna said gently. "I've told Francis you're staying over already."

Mary gave her a grateful smile, hugging her tightly. When she pulled away, her eyes landed on Kenna's non-existent bump. Shakily, she placed a hand on it, making Kenna gasp softly.

"Your baby is going to be so gorgeous like her mum," Mary said softly, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Probably have green eyes like her dad... She'll be perfect."

"She?" Kenna whispered, her own tears falling.

Mary smiled a little. "Didn't we always want little girls when we were little girls ourselves? Our firstborns would be born together and they'd play together and be the best of friends and now cousins. It may never happen for Francis and me, but we will be there for her."

Kenna choked back a sob, hugging Mary tightly. "You know I didn't want-"

"I know. But are you ready for this?" Mary asked against her neck, her eyes scanning the quiet street. "Do you think you can be ready because Bash talks _a lot_ about wanting kids and... Kenna, ten years on birth control is dishonest."

"I know," Kenna mumbled. "But maybe it was meant to be. Maybe this baby is exactly what I need. I'm ready and I've got Bash."

Mary smiled, closing her eyes and sighing wistfully. She'll be there for Kenna just as Kenna will always be there for her.

"Let's get back," Kenna told her, pulling away. "You look like you need the sleep."

When they stepped through the door, Kenna found Bash in the kitchen. He stopped what he was doing and turned to face the women, giving them a smile.

"Tea, anyone?"

Mary shook her head, scratching at her wrist. "No, thanks. Uh, I'll go to bed now."

Kenna turned to her. "I'll be there in a minute, yeah?"

"Yeah," Mary whispered softly, heading down the hall and into the guest bedroom.

Kenna took her coat and shoes off, rolling her eyes when Bash quickly came over to help her. He even put them away, bringing her to sit down and placing a hand on her stomach.

"Are you okay? You left quite early with Mary," he said, rubbing her tummy.

"I'm fine," she said, laughing softly as she cupped his cheek. "You're so sweet. Mary just needed a bit of a girl chat. Sorry."

"No, it's fine," he said, getting back up. "I just missed you in bed."

Kenna blushed a deep crimson. "God, I'm married to the cheesiest man in the whole of France."

"And you love that," her fiancé's cocky reply came.

She got up and headed down the hall. She knocked on the door and entered when Mary granted her access. She saw her friend already in bed, her coat laid over the seat with her shoes by it on the floor.

"Do you need my help to fall asleep?" Kenna asked gently.

Mary gave her a nod. "Remember that lullaby that my mother used to sing to us during our sleepovers as little kids?"

"Of course," Kenna mumbled, smiling a little. "Back when she was a decent mum."

"Hmm," Mary hummed. "Can you sing it for me?"

Kenna nodded and began a soft melody. She petted Mary to sleep, playing with her hair and rubbing her arm in soothing circles. She didn't sleep at all, waiting until nine o'clock rolled through and the doorbell rang. She heard Bash answer it and greet his brother tersely.

Kenna felt horrible, looking down at her sleeping friend. It was fine if anything bad happened to her, but not her innocent Mary. Not Mary who helped her through everything. She began to quietly sob, pressing a long kiss on Mary's hairline.

"I'm here and I'll never leave you."

...

Francis paced the living room. He had nothing to do and he was worried about Mary. He turned to see Bash preparing coffee or tea, but it seemed as if his mind was on other things because he had disregarded that the kettle had finished boiling a while ago. He must have been thinking about the baby and the wedding.

"Bash, about... about yesterday," he started, gaining his older brother's attention. "I'm sorry. I am happy for you and Kenna, I really am and you both deserve-"

"No, Francis. _I'm _sorry. I should have been more considerate and I wasn't. I'm sorry, I wasn't. But I do know that you and Mary will have a child of your own one day," Bash cut him off as he rubbed his face.

Francis gave his brother a bright smile. "I wish I shared the same hope you have."

Bash smirked. "Well, it's easy. I have faith, you should too."

The blonde's face suddenly fell. "I don't think it will be possible."

"How do you mean?"

"Don't worry," Francis quickly said, coming over to stand by his side and take over in making the hot drinks.

Bash nodded slowly. "You can tell me anything, right?"

"I know," Francis said, turning to give him a smile. "Thank you."

"Hmm," Bash hummed, leaning against the counter. "I'm scared, Francis."

"Why?"

Bash shrugged. "I want this baby, but I'm not sure if it's the right time."

Francis stopped. "How do you mean?"

"Kenna wants this big Catholic wedding and we went to see the priest and told him..."

Then it dawned on Francis. "You weren't sexually active," he finished for his brother. "But it's modern times!"

"You know how our parents are," Bash retorted, sighing. "Kenna and I, we just went with the flow. We necessarily didn't want to have a kid before our wedding, but at the same time, it isn't like we wouldn't mind. We've been looking at houses on the outskirts of Paris and there are perfect for starting a family and... Oh, God..."

Although Francis was dealing with his own stuff, his brother's fears were welcome and he nudged Bash's shoulder.

"What do you want, Bash?"

Bash looked up to face him. "Honestly? I want a small and intimate wedding with the woman I love standing before me with our child inside of her. Catholic wedding or not, we are who we are and I'm not ashamed. Sex is natural and yes, I do like it with Kenna because she's perfect and I'm... barely above average and I'll never find someone else like her even if she's a whole lot of drama I don't know if I want it."

Francis grinned. "Have you thought about eloping?"

Bash's eyes widened. "We've already spent thousands of money on this wedding, why would we elope?"

"You don't need to waste everything you've planned so far," Francis quickly said. "Just elope and then have a large spectacle. By then you can tell the scrutinising priest that you made a honeymoon baby and he won't question it because she'll be about two months gone by then."

Bash relaxed. "Y-You're actually right. She's in the early weeks and we can go to the registry office... Francis, I don't say this enough but-"

"You love me, I know," Francis cut him off, grinning widely.

Bash rolled his eyes. "I was going to say that you are a genius, but yeah we'll go with love." He turned to the photo on the fridge. "I really love her, you know? After Mary, I didn't think I'd find anyone else but once I got to know Kenna, I realised we had a lot more in common than I thought. She's the perfect fit - her and all of her craziness, spirit and joy that she brings into my life."

Francis let out a soft chuckle. "Has anyone told you how-"

"Cheesy I am?" Bash finished. "God, I know and it disgusts me. It's Kenna's fault... Anyway, do you want to talk about you now so I can stop being the centre of attention?"

Francis sighed, taking a sip from his made tea and handing one to Bash. "Uh, Mary was... She was raped, Bash."

Bash's eyes widened in shock and he let go of the mug, letting it smash onto the floor and the liquid pour everywhere. He cursed, bending down to start cleaning it up, his hands shaking as Francis also bent down to help him.

"Shit. Oh, my God... Francis, I can't imagine what either of you is going through and if you-"

He was cut off by Kenna meekly making her way into the living room. He felt hurt the second he saw her and he quickly turned away from her as his brother got up to greet her.

Francis rounded the counter island, a polite smile on his face and he brought his future sister-in-law into his arms. "Hey. Thanks for looking after Mary and congratulations..." He trailed off, his hands still holding her hands as he eyed her stomach. "Y-You're glowing."

He blinked away tears, giving Bash a small smile and turning back to Kenna. He would admit, he was jealous of Bash because he was going to be a father, but he couldn't deny, Bash was closer to thirty than he was. He still had time.

Kenna gave him a little smile, letting go of his hands when she realised he was staring intently at her non-visible bump. "Thanks, and it's no worry, honestly," she told him, slipping her hair behind her ear. "Francis, Mary needs some time."

"T-Time?"

"Yeah," Kenna whispered softly. "She doesn't want to go back."

"I get that and I've hired out an apartment at the hotel-"

"She doesn't want to see you," Kenna said gently, the guilt in her eyes as she quickly looked away from her future brother-in-law's hurt ones.

Francis's face dropped as he numbly asked, "W-What?"

"Francis, it's not you. I swear that it isn't. You see, she needs to be with someone who gets it. For now," Kenna explained. "If it's any better, Bash will stay with you."

"I will 'what' now?" Bash asked, frowning.

"Mary doesn't want to be around men at the moment," Kenna continued, her patience running thin. "She needs time and when she is ready, she will see you, Francis. For now, I beg you-"

"She's my wife, Kenna," Francis cut her off angrily. "I'm here for her!"

Kenna flinched. "I know that and she knows that. She is terrified-"

"How do you even know what she's feeling. Did she tell you to tell me this? Let me speak to her-"

"I know what she's feeling, Francis, you can trust me on that one," Kenna gritted out. She felt uncomfortable and she definitely didn't want to tell her fiancé and his brother her darkest secret. "Can we talk outside? I don't want to wake her."

"Fine," Francis snapped, heading out the door.

Kenna sighed heavily, running her hands through her hair as her eyes met Bash's green eyes. "Pack some clothes, baby. I promise it won't be for long."

Bash nodded sadly. "I get it. Francis told me and let Mary know that I'm here for her."

"I will, babe," Kenna replied, kissing his lips before he went into their bedroom, closing the door behind him.

She sighed and headed outside to see Francis pacing on the landing. She closed the door, but not before leaving it unlocked.

"You don't know what she's feeling nor do you know what's in her head," Francis told her, staring her down as he stopped in front of her. "Mary is my _life_. I will _kill_ for her and although I won't touch you or push you, I will get past you and-"

"Francis, I was raped," Kenna quickly cried out. "I was raped so I _do_ know!"

Francis gaped. He stared at her in shock, his heart beating loudly in his ears as he tried to decipher her words, not that they weren't already clear enough. Is this why she asked Bash to leave? Did he not know this?

"I'm sorry?"

"Yeah," Kenna said, crossing her arms. "Bash doesn't know and I'd like it to stay that way."

Tears stung Francis's eyes and he sighed, stepping down a stair to sit down. "I'm so sorry. When?"

Kenna swallowed deeply. "I was fourteen. It's in the past, we don't need to dig that up again."

He nodded, gesturing for her to take a seat beside him. When she did, he shook his head in disbelief.

"I won't tell Bash, but you need to tell him," he said to her.

"I know," she mumbled.

"I just feel so helpless, Kenna. I've loved Mary since we were five and I don't understand why she's pushing me away," Francis said, his voice strained.

Kenna closed her eyes. "I know," she whispered, sighing. "Francis, it's difficult, I won't lie. I want you to know this and I'm sure Mary believes the same. It wasn't your fault."

Francis nodded sadly. "Why do I feel like it is?"

Kenna shrugged. "Empathy, I guess? You blame yourself for things out of your control and you can't do that to yourself, okay? I'll let you know when Mary's ready, but for now, it's best if we let her deal with things and have any male contact reduced to a minimum. Until she's ready for you, I guess."

"Okay," he replied.

"She loves you so much. I know you're on thin ice, but don't let this put you off. She's still our Mary deep down, but she needs time to heal."

Francis's lips wavered when he asked her, "How long did it take you?"

Kenna already knew her answer. "I'm still healing, Francis. But it took me five years for me to let a man touch me. Bash is technically my first and I hope to God, he's my last. Although he helped me without knowing, I still feel my rapist's touch and my skin crawls. That's not to say that Mary won't get to a day when she'll let you in again, but I was broken and I did some shit because of that so it took me a while."

"So what do we do?"

"We help her," Kenna replied. "We stop her from doing something she can't turn back from. I got to that point and I regret that because it was goddamn hard to dig myself out of the hole I'd made."

"Kenna, I'm so sorry," Francis said. "If you ever need anything, let me know."

Kenna nodded. "Thank you."

"And I do hope that you can... that you can move on from what happened to you. Maybe, you can tell me everything and it will be freeing," he told her. "You will forget his touch, his words, his face and name. When you do, I'll throw you a party."

Kenna laughed, tears stinging her eyes. "I hope for that day to come. You have so much faith than I do and it's been ten years I've lived with this."

Francis eyed the front door. "Well, I also hope to God it's the same for Mary too. I can't live without her, she's everything to me."

"And you're everything to her too," Kenna replied. "Francis, she will get through this."

Francis replied with a nod. He couldn't speak anymore, not whilst his heart was behind that door he stared at. He felt like shit. Like it was all his fault, but everyone told him otherwise.

"Tell her I love her," he breathed out.

"I will. I will also tell her that you're there for her when she's ready."

"Thank you, Kenna."

Kenna smiled sadly. "You're welcome, Francis."


	4. Chapter 4

Mary shot out of the bed, rushing out of the room and into the bathroom where she threw up. She vomited everything out of her system, squinting her eyes shut as she covered her ears.

"Get out of my head, get out of my head, get out of my head!" It became a mantra, her body moving back and forwards as she tried to shake their faces, their smiles, their coy grins and evil looks from her mind.

It was imprinted, like a tattoo and she got up, heading to the medicine cabinet to find something. She knew Kenna had them, they spoke freely of Kenna's need for sleeping pills.

"Mary?"

Mary jumped, the opened bottle spilling its contents onto the ground. She quickly got to her knees and started to pick them up, her hands shaking with every lift.

"I've g-got it," she breathed out to Kenna, putting them all back into the bottle. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Kenna said, gently stopping Mary's hands. "Leave them."

Mary began to sob. "I need them."

"I know."

"Can I-"

"No," Kenna cut her off, wiping her tears from her friend's cheeks. "Trust me, they're the last thing you need."

Mary nodded sadly, taking a sniff from her pyjamas. "I need a shower."

Kenna got up, heading to the towel rack. "Okay," she said, getting a towel.

Mary started to undress as Kenna went to find some spare clothes for her to wear. She always left some spare clothes over at Kenna and Bash's because she and Kenna would spend nights out whenever she was in the country. She missed those carefree days.

She started the shower, putting a hand out to feel it as it ran. She stood idle as the water temperature got hotter and when it was almost scalding, she stepped underneath the water and hissed, feeling the hot water relax her tense muscles as it also stung at her self-inflicted cuts.

She started to scrub her body with the shampoo, spotting herself in the mirror. She turned around, turning her head to get a look at the purple bruises she'd obtained as she was shoved to the ground after knocking the dining table.

Mary quickly turned and kept her gaze straight forward. She didn't need to look at those ugly bruises. She was already ugly.

"I've ordered some food," Kenna announced, entering the bathroom again and turning to face the door.

"Okay," Mary said, closing her eyes. "Where's Bash?"

Kenna looked down. "Don't you remember? You asked me to tell him to go with Francis."

Mary nodded. "Yes, that's right. Was he mad? I didn't mean to kick him out of his own home."

"He was very understanding, love," Kenna told her. "He wishes you well and says he's there for you..."

"Remember when we were a thing?" Mary asked.

Kenna nodded stiffly. "For all of two seconds," she said lightly. "Do you... Do you wonder what could have been?"

Mary shook her head. "No," she replied honestly. "I can't imagine a life without being with Francis. It was nice to have a few options, but I knew it was him I wanted by my side for life."

Kenna smiled fondly, taking a seat on the toilet. "Will you let him in?"

"I don't know?" Mary cried out, turning around so she faced Kenna. The shower was foggy and it wasn't like they hadn't seen each other naked before. They used to have baths together as toddlers.

"He wants to be there for you, he adores you," Kenna told her.

"I know."

"But?"

Mary bit her lip, shrugging. "But I don't understand _why_. Why does he still want me? Another man has... he has made me untouchable."

Kenna shook her head, getting up to face Mary through the glass. "Francis loves you and he doesn't care. Well, he does, but not how you think! It's you he still wants despite this. You could be the ugliest woman in the world and he would still want you."

Mary began to sob, sinking onto the floor. The door of the shower was flung open and Kenna quickly went down to hug her, wincing when the water hit her back.

"Shit, Mary! It's _hot_," she cried out, turning it off.

Mary buried her face into Kenna's shoulder, feeling her friend's arms wrap around her. She would admit, she wished it was Francis's arms that wrapped around her right now, but Kenna's was still needed.

...

After Mary had got dressed, she slowly made her way back into the living space. She frowned when she saw Kenna put her jacket on and slip her feet into her ankle boots.

"W-Where are you going?" She asked fearfully.

Kenna frowned, pondering a thought. "Didn't I say?"

"Say what?"

Kenna then let out a frustrated groan. "Sorry. It's my first midwife appointment. I called Bash and he's picking me up. God, I thought I told you, it must have slipped my mind. I'm so sorry, I can cancel it-"

"Don't you dare," Mary told her, cupping her cheeks. "Go say 'hi' to my little nibling."

"Your 'what'?" Kenna chuckled. "Is that even a word?"

Mary shrugged lightly. "Well, it saves time. Go, I'll be fine."

Kenna nodded and walked to the door. But then she paused and turned back around to say, "It will only be a couple of hours. Bash wants to take me out for a meal after. There's some food in the fridge that I ordered. It's vegan, but I think you'll like it."

Mary gave her a smile, nodding. "Food in the fridge got it. I might take a nap though and read a little. I see that your bookshelf's even fuller than the last time."

Kenna waved her off. "They're all Bash's. Do you think I read tomes on Roman numerals? He'll probably bore our child to sleep."

Mary laughed. It was quiet but genuine. She looked up and saw that Kenna was smiling triumphantly.

"You make everything better," Mary said. "And although I appreciate it...-"

"You wish it was Francis doing it."

"I'm scared," Mary told her. "I love him and I want him, but my mind doesn't know whether to let him stay or push him away."

Kenna checked her watch and just as she looked back at Mary, her phone began ringing. She cursed, rejecting the call before focusing back on her friend.

"Everyone acts differently, Mary," she told her friend. "I just happened to let Bash in. At times I do wonder what would happen if I did let him in fully, but we're happy and his happiness matters to me even if I need to suffer in silence."

"Oh."

"But I am glad that Francis knows because then, he can help you even more," Kenna finished before opening the door. "Who knows? This might bring you closer."

...

As soon as the doorbell rang, Mary went up to the intercom. She waited for a few minutes, watching as Francis waited patiently through the viewfinder camera. He seemed a little anxious and she mentally scolded herself for letting her wonderful husband go through this. He was only trying to help her and be supportive even if she didn't get why.

She pressed the 'enter' button and opened the door, taking her seat on the sofa once again. The TV was on low, the daytime shows running continuously as she paid no mind. She heard footsteps and closed her eyes when she heard them enter and close the door.

Mary placed a steady hand on her beating heart to calm her anxiety. When she was ready, she got up and turned to see Francis there with flowers. He looked apologetic, nervously scratching at the back of his neck.

"Are those for me?" Mary asked, a smile almost playing on her lips.

Francis winced. "Not exactly. They're for Kenna. As a 'thank you' and 'congratulations, you're expecting!' gift," he explained, handing them over to her. "I don't know where the vases are."

Mary smirked, heading to the kitchen. She placed the flowers on the counter island and bent down to rifle through the sink cupboard. She knew her friend's love for flowers went deep.

"I felt terrible," Francis said, sitting down on a stool. "I was upset with Bash when he told me."

Mary hummed in reply. He was making small talk and she felt rude. She invited him and now, she was relieved for the small talk. They didn't look like a married couple _at all_.

"So, I got Kenna flowers and him some perfume. I think he has a whole collection of them or something," Francis muttered, perhaps to himself because Mary busied herself with sorting out the flowers into the vase. "Mary, do you want to talk about-"

"The small talk is nice," Mary cut him off, her voice shrill. She looked up and saw his eyes lose a bit of sparkle. "How are your siblings?"

Francis shrugged. "They're fine, I guess. My mother explained that we needed a breather from the full house."

"Alright," Mary replied, yawning. She felt tired, she barely got any sleep. "Do you want anything?"

"No," Francis said, playing with his wedding ring. "Mary, I want you to know that I'm with you no matter what. You're my wife and I meant my vows - for better or for worse."

Mary placed the scissors down, almost slamming them onto the surface. Now he was making her feel more shit than she already was, with her reluctance to let him in. She blamed him, but now she wasn't so sure if that was right.

"I'm the one at fault," she said, tears springing to her eyes. "Why do you still want me?"

Francis all but glared at her in disbelief. "What the-Mary, you are my wife and I love you. I've loved you since we were kids! Do I need to repeat myself or something? What is it that you don't understand?"

Mary washed her hands, coming over to sit beside him. "Am I still beautiful to you?"

"In many ways than one," Francis breathed out.

"Do I still make you smile?" She asked, blinking as tears slipped down her cheeks. "Make you laugh? Make you happy?"

Francis looked away from her. "Mary, we've been through a lot and I know the whole two miscarriages and failing to make a baby has put a great strain on our marriage, but I didn't get with you for that reason."

"No?" She asked, frowning.

"Mary, do you think I considered children when we were five? We _were_ children ourselves, all I knew was that I loved you and I hoped that you would be in my life for many years to come," Francis told her. "Yes, I did like the idea of having something to show the love we had for each other when we hit eighteen, but as long as I had you, I was content with life and I could die then with a smile on my face, having not regretted a thing."

Mary smiled. "Really?"

"Really," Francis said, wiping her tears. He sighed in relief when she didn't recoil but lean her face into his hand. "You're beautiful, strong and you mean the world to me - as a mother or not."

"I think we should put a pause on anything children related," she told him.

"Yes, I think so too. Until you've recovered and you're ready," he replied. "Take all the time in the world because I'm not going anywhere."

Mary nodded, sniffling. "I can't sleep properly," she mumbled. "Can you hold me?"

"I want nothing more than to hold you right now," Francis replied.

Mary blushed before she laid down on the sofa. It was pretty spacey, almost like a bed and as soon as Francis laid down beside her, she grabbed his arms to wrap around her waist.

He gently placed a kiss on her neck and she sighed happily, closing her eyes. He smiled when she fell asleep quickly, her body and face relaxed and content. He loved her so much, he would be there for her no matter what.

"I love you, Mary," he whispered into her ear.

"I love you too, Francis," her tired reply came before she fell back asleep. "Thank you..."

...

Opening her front door, Kenna looked up to see Mary fast asleep with Francis snoring softly behind her, his arms around his wife protectively. She let out a smile, closing the door quietly and taking her coat and shoes off just as quiet. She didn't want to wake them up, she was sure they needed the rest.

As quickly as she could, she tiptoed into her bedroom and retrieved her phone from her pocket to tell her fiancé that she made it up the stairs safely with no issues. His overprotectiveness made her happy, a faint blush playing on her cheeks as she pursed her lips in thought.

Returning to the living area, she snapped a picture of the sleeping couple and leant against the door jamb, just watching them. She wished she had someone like Francis to be there for her when it happened to her. Bash was there, but he came after all of it, not that he knew. She scoffed lightly. How on Earth were these men perfect when their father was otherwise?

"Francis," Mary's voice mumbled, her eyes opening as she checked the wall clock. "Francis, it's past five..."

Francis groaned, using his hand to shield his eyes. "Five more minutes."

"No, Kenna will be back soon," she replied, sitting up and yawning. "I feel so bad. I'm staying here and I've not made myself useful. I need to cook something, she is eating for two now."

"Want me to help?" Francis asked her.

Mary paused, a shiver going down her spine as she remembered what she was doing shortly before the men came in and attacked her. She shook the thoughts away, giving her husband a nod.

"If you don't mind," Mary whispered.

"'Course not," Francis said. "Bash won't miss me-"

"Isn't this lovely," Kenna stated, finally announcing her presence with a fond smile on her lips.

Mary gave her a meek smile. "When did you get back?"

"A few minutes ago," Kenna said, heading to the kitchen. "Don't worry about cooking. If there's any of that food I ordered left, I wouldn't mind having it."

Mary winced, getting up. "I checked. It's not particularly healthy for a pregnant woman. I looked up all-"

"It's vegan. I'm sure it's fine," Kenna cut her off, giggling. "All of this attention and talks of healthy eating and avoiding tripping over! You're all worrywarts so get up and join me for dinner."

Mary complied as Francis took his time. Her eyes landed his exposed stomach as he stretched and she quickly looked down, biting her lip nervously. She still loved him and had feelings for him, but she couldn't. She couldn't, not after...

"I'm going to use the bathroom," Mary said, quickly going to the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

She didn't lock it, but she sat on the closed toilet and started to cry. Would she ever be able to make love to her husband again? She knew he had needs and she wouldn't blame him if he were to find that elsewhere.

The idea made her sick and she quickly got off the toilet, opening it up and vomiting. She couldn't stand the idea of her husband leaving her for another woman.

Francis was blonde, blue-eyed and sexy, who wouldn't want a piece of him, married or otherwise? Maybe he was lying when he said he wanted her still, that he loved her.

Maybe he was lying about the whole children thing and secretly, he was thinking about getting other women pregnant so he could be a father. She knew that her husband's family were heavy on the large family idea and both Francis and Bash wanted children. It was a term she and Kenna had willingly agreed to, honestly or not.

Mary rubbed her tummy. She had been told that the man who did it wore protection, but there were traces of him on her underwear. It made her sick to her stomach, the thought of bearing that monster's child and she had been relieved to find out that it wouldn't be possible.

She got back up, flushed the toilet, washed her hands, brushed her teeth and fixed her hair and face. Then, she left the comfort of the bathroom and found Kenna dishing out the food, Francis already seated at the dining table with his phone out in his hands.

"You took a while," Kenna stated, meeting her eyes briefly.

"Number two," Mary mumbled, her cheeks reddening.

She sat beside Francis and reached over to take a bread bun. She started eating it, picking it tiny piece by tiny piece. She didn't necessarily have an appetite, but her stomach was empty and it was begging for food.

As she reached for the jug of water, her hand connected with Francis's and she looked at him in surprise. She swallowed the piece of food she was eating down, seeing him gesturing for her to serve herself first.

"Can you pour it for me?" She asked instead, dipping the bread into the soup.

Francis complied, helping her pour a glass as he said, "I've been meaning to tell you, the DNA tests came back from the suspects... They've been able to ID them, as expected and the police are working to arrest them today."

Mary dropped her bun in shock. Her body visibly relaxed as soft sobs escaped her lips. "I-I don't..."

"Mary, I'm sorry," Francis said, taking her hand. "I wasn't there for you and I promised that I would protect you in our vows and I broke that promise. But from today on, I intend to _never_ break any of them."

Kenna silently got up, excusing herself so they could have privacy. She didn't want to intrude on their moment and she was relieved that Mary would have justice. If she didn't have it, her best friend could.

"I'm so sorry," Francis breathed out, cupping her cheeks and using his thumbs to wipe her tears. "You are right, it's all my fault-"

"No," Mary said firmly. "I was... I was doubting myself, doubting _you_."

Francis laughed a little. "What am I going to do with you?"

Mary shrugged. "I don't know," she told him. "Stay with me at least?"

"Definitely," he promised. His eyes then landed on her lips. "Can I...?"

Mary shakily nodded, letting him move closer. Her eyes fluttered down to his own lips and she swallowed deeply, waiting for their lips to connect. Her heart started to beat loudly in her ears and suddenly, she found herself turning so his lips connected with her cheek.

"I-I can't," she said, rubbing her mouth harshly. "He's still there..."

Francis's eyes fell and he nodded, releasing his hold on her. He didn't want to force things or make her uncomfortable. He continued to watch, seeing his wife wipe her lips repeatedly.

"I-I thought I could," she told him. "You're my husband and... I'm fine with the little touches and brief kisses, but please..."

He nodded. "I understand."

He looked at the food and sighed heavily, picking his phone up from the table and unlocking it. He scanned through his texts as Mary got up to head to the sink, her hands gripping the edge tightly as they whitened even more in colour.

Mary closed her eyes and began her breathing techniques, trying not to throw up or start crying. She had to calm herself. She had to be in control.

"I'm going to go, Mary," Francis said gently. "If you need me, call me and I will be here."

She nodded, not bothering to turn around as she waved him off dismissively. When she heard the door close, she started to sob. She thought they were making progress, but every step they took, she made them take ten back.

Mary craved for his lips and his touch, but they scared her. She wanted to throw up, but today was nice. Today when he hugged her as they slept on the sofa, was really nice and it reminded her of the old days.

Before everything changed and became bitter and sour and evil and twisted. The world was a cruel one, she told herself.

_"Monsters, Mary. No one can escape them."_

She cursed her mother-in-law's words, clawing at her head to get them out.

The men who hurt her were found and imprisoned, why was she still living in fear? They couldn't hurt her now, unless...

She got her phone and went to her messages, seeing one from Catherine that was recent. She mentally scolded herself for silencing it, but Kenna had told her to get some well-deserved sleep.

{From Catherine: **They pleaded not guilty.**}

Mary sank to the ground.

Her free hand covered her mouth in shock, her eyes scanning the words over and over. Her nightmare was far from over and now she would have to testify and see them again.

"Mary?"

"Kenna," Mary whined, her sobs increasing. "They pleaded not guilty..."

Kenna froze. "That can't be... There's evidence and-"

"I'm going to have to see them again, aren't I?" Mary questioned her, bowing her head. "They'll never leave me alone! They'll never pay for what they did to me!"

Kenna hurried over to her, bringing her friend's head to her chest and rubbing her shoulder in comforting circles. "Mary, if this were the olden times, I would have killed them for you myself. But we must have faith in the law. Justice will be served."

...

Mary was surprised. Over the three weeks that went by, Catherine had been so kind to her, even preparing a strong legal team for her as well as visit her. She had brought food the first time Kenna let her through the doors begrudgingly. The second time, she had brought good news.

"The legal team for the defendants is subpar, to say the least," Catherine said, her eyes glossing over the pictures on the wall as she walked around the living space. "Ours, although more expensive, are strong. They've never lost a case. Mary, you don't even have to worry."

Mary scratched at her shoulder. "What if they call me to the stand and destroy my character?"

Catherine scoffed, smirking after. "Let them try. We do not only have evidence, but we have _condemning_ evidence. If they attempt to bring you down, we will hit back with wrath they've never known."

"You see?" Kenna's voice piped up. "You've nothing to worry about."

"Other than seeing them again and having my nightmares worsen," Mary bitterly said. "Sorry."

Catherine waved her off. "Understandable. And I have a solution."

"Which is?"

"You'll be in court, but you won't be able to see them," Catherine told her. "Do you think that I haven't thought of that?"

Mary breathed a sigh in relief. "God, Catherine... You don't know how much this means to me. I know we haven't been the closest-"

"Mary, the past is the past. Enemy or friend, I wouldn't wish this on anyone," Catherine cut her off. "It can lead to devastating situations. Ones that stick with you for life."

Mary nodded sadly, her eyes meeting Kenna's. "Yeah," she mumbled.

Kenna quickly planted a polite smile on her face. "Well, the good news is needed. Should we do something to take your mind off the trial?"

Mary gave her a small smile. "Is it too early to shop for the baby?"

"Baby?" Catherine asked. "What... Mary, are you-"

"No!" Mary cried out, shielding her stomach from Catherine's curious eyes. "I'm _not_ pregnant. Kenna is."

Kenna resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she planted a smile on her lips, turning to nod at Catherine. "Six weeks pregnant as of today."

Catherine clicked her tongue. "Congratulations. You and Bash will make good parents."

Mary almost scowled. Not _wonderful_ or any other better adjective. Just _good_. She knew her friends would make the best parents.

"I thought the past was in the past," Mary quipped, eyeing the older woman.

Catherine raised her eyebrows, turning to her before turning back to Kenna. "Your child is very lucky," she added, giving Mary a pointed look before collecting her handbag. "I must go to work now. Mary, do look after yourself, the dark colours are draining on your skin."

Mary scowled for real. "See you later, Catherine."

"Au revoir," the older woman coyly replied, letting herself out.

"She does it out of love," Mary began. "I think."

Kenna chuckled. "Well, we all know how she feels about Bash and me. Do you remember when you and Bash were a thing, whilst his father and I were a thing?"

"For all of two seconds," Mary replied, grinning a little. "But that's all in the past, isn't it?"

"It is indeed. Right, come on I think we need a girls' night in instead and somebody got a new foot massager!"

Mary watched as Kenna all but skipped into her bedroom to retrieve her new gadget. She would admit, she felt better over the weeks and her relationship with Francis was getting better.

Grabbing her phone, she asked her husband out on a date. It was time to find herself again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Quick thing: Gutted that guest reviews aren't showing because I do get them and I want you guys to know that I do read them! It's annoying, but keep posting them because I see them in my inbox anyway! :)**

* * *

Mary tightened her hold on Francis's arm as they walked away from the restaurant that they ate at. It was early evening now and she could feel the chill weather biting at her cheeks.

"Mary, today was great," Francis said after a while.

Mary smiled. "Are you just saying that because I paid for everything?"

"No," he replied, laughing. "About that, I should have taken the bill."

"No, no," she chastised. "I wanted to pay. I wanted to make it up to you after everything."

"Make it up to me?" Francis asked, frowning. "Mary-"

Mary shook her head. "I should never have pushed you away. You're my husband and I love you. I shouldn't be afraid of you. It's not like... it's not like _you_ raped me."

Francis nodded, his blue eyes showing relief. "It's fine. I understand. Sometimes, the touch of any man can frighten you even if they didn't particularly hurt you."

"Thank you for understanding," Mary replied, leaning her head against his shoulder. "We used to go on dates before we were married... Why did we stop?"

"Lord knows," Francis muttered lightly. "But I'm glad you texted. Let me drive you back to Kenna-"

"I want to come home with you," she cut him off.

Francis gasped. "To the apartment? Yes, of-"

"The estate, Francis," she corrected. "I think I need to deal with that head-on."

"Oh," he replied. "A-Are you sure?"

Mary nodded. "I am," she told him. "That and I can't keep Bash away from his home for another month, can I? I feel awful about that."

"He doesn't mind," Francis assured her, squeezing her hand. "Mary, you were hurt and nobody blames you for how you react to that."

Mary stopped walking, turning to give him a bright smile. "You're amazing, you do know that?"

"I may have heard that a few times here and there," he teased, cupping her cheeks.

Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt the warmth of his hands. The hands which made her feel safe and content. Not rough and frightened as the man who raped her's hands made her feel.

She opened her eyes and they landed on his lips. Slowly, she hovered her own over them and he didn't move, letting her take her time. Then as gentle as ever, she pressed her lips against his and closed her eyes in satisfaction.

They were just as she remembered. Soft and warm.

After a while, she pulled back with a blush on her cheeks. "I feel like a schoolgirl all over again."

Francis grinned. "Are you sure that you're okay? We don't have to kiss or-"

She pressed another kiss on his lips to shut him up before backing away. "Somebody needs to take one for the team and kiss you."

Francis feigned hurt. "So it's a burden now?" He asked, biting back a smile. He loved seeing her get back to her old self somewhat. Her jokester self, her sweet and innocent... He quickly brushed the word away and gave her a grin. "I see how it is."

"What?" She asked happily.

"I'm the most handsome man in the world and you've given yourself the burden of having to be the only one I kiss in my lifetime," he told her.

Mary playfully rolled her eyes. "You think too highly of yourself. Anyway, let's get back, it's getting cold."

She linked her arm with Francis's once again and they continued to walk towards the car. She started small talk, but that became a conversation about wanting a dog to perhaps fill the indefinite void of a childless marriage.

"...Huskies are great!" She told her husband.

"I'm allergic to dogs-"

"You weren't allergic to my childhood dog," Mary whined.

Francis tutted. "Fine..."

Mary laughed, nudging his shoulder. "It's not like we are going to use dogs to be our children for the rest of our lives. We will have a child and we can also have a best friend for life..." Her words left her tongue as her eyes widened.

Across the street, she could see the man who raped her. He was laughing, talking to some other man about something and her heart began to beat loudly, her breathing becoming shallow.

"Mary?"

"It's... It's him," she breathed out, fearfully.

She closed her eyes, tears running down her cheeks as she felt her legs give out from under her. Francis was quick to catch her, as she remained crying with her eyes shut.

"Mary! Wh-where-"

"Across the street," she told him, opening her eyes to show him by pointing.

But she had it all wrong.

He wasn't there. It wasn't him.

The people didn't seem to react to her sudden reaction, continuing their jovial conversation in ignorance. It made Mary confused and stunned. She _swore_ she saw him, it was him!

But it wasn't.

"It's not him," she whispered. "It's not him, I got it wrong..."

"Okay," Francis said, unsure. "I'll take you back to Bash and Kenna's. I don't think you're ready to-"

"Francis, I can-"

"Mary, I don't think you're ready," he told her firmly.

Mary sadly nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry. I ruined our nice day out and-"

"Don't be silly, my love. Come on, let's get you up and get you back home," he replied, helping her up and starting to lead her away from the people. "I'm here to protect you now and I'll never stop protecting you."

His wife turned to him with a smile on her face before burying her head into his side. She thanked God for him.

...

Stepping inside the apartment, Mary berated herself. She couldn't believe she thought that poor man was her rapist. She then froze. Would she see his face everywhere now? Would she have to look over her shoulder? Would Francis get fed up of all the wrongful guesses?

"You're back!" Kenna's voice cut into her thoughts. "How was it?"

"It was great until I ruined it," Mary mumbled, sitting down and taking her heels off before rubbing her soles. "I thought I saw him. The... The man who..."

Kenna sat beside her on the bench. "It isn't easy," she said. "I get it."

"I thought it was him. I _believed _it was him," Mary said. "He had the smirk and everything, but..."

"It was your mind playing tricks on you?" Kenna finished for her. "Yeah, it does that. Whatever you're afraid of, it picks it out and broadcasts it right in your brain and your eyes and your ears. Soon, you'll be looking over your shoulder, second-guessing yourself. You'll worry that you've heard him when it's some poor soul with the same deep tone as him... I'm sorry."

Mary reached her hand out and smiled when Kenna took it. "It's worse for you isn't it?"

"Mary, it's not about who it's worse for or not," Kenna told her. "I made my bed and I've got to lie in it. But I do admit, this is the reason I don't have social media because if he finds out that I'm in France... God knows what would happen."

Just as Mary was about to speak, she heard Bash's voice coming from the master bedroom. She turned to Kenna with a coy smile on her face.

"Oh?" She simply asked.

Kenna chuckled softly. "He stopped by for more clothes after the gym and he definitely needed a shower. I'm not complaining, I got a good show."

"Well, don't let me stop you. I'm sure there's more to come," Mary teased, making Kenna groan loudly.

"You're disgusting, Mary. Disgusting, I tell you," Kenna said, getting up and walking towards her bedroom. She paused and turned to face Mary again. "But we'll see." She gave her a wink and disappeared behind the door, closing it shut as her giggles were soon heard afterwards.

Mary laughed, herself. She felt better, happier, relaxed. Earlier was just a blip, but she'll get through that. She felt her phone ring in her bag and she got it, grinning when she saw a picture of Francis and a dog.

{To Francis: **That better be ours.**}

{From Francis: **Drove past a couple whose dog gave birth to two puppies. Said we can adopt.**}

{To Francis: **Get them both.**}

She placed her phone onto the bench beside her and rubbed her face. She inhaled deeply before exhaling the breath, closing her eyes. She had to steady herself, she had to be in control.

Her hands began to shake and she got up, heading to the guest bedroom and shutting the door behind her. She tried to keep the tears in, but she couldn't and she let out a strained sob, covering her mouth so Kenna nor Bash could hear her.

They were very busy, she could hear.

She sniffled, swallowing the rest of her sobs as she quickly got changed and under the covers. She tucked herself in, making sure that nothing could get in from all angles before closing her eyes shut and willing the bad thoughts to go away.

It was early to go to bed, but she wanted to do whatever it took to stop thinking about her rapist and his friends who came into her home and attacked her in her own home and-

Her eyes flung open and she got up, grabbed the lamp and threw it onto the ground as she let out a frustrated cry.

In the master bedroom, Kenna froze as Bash frowned against her skin. She quickly pushed him off and headed across the hall into the guest bedroom.

She gasped when she saw Mary bending over the broken glass lamp, picking up the pieces.

"Mary, what-"

"I'll buy you a new one," Mary said numbly as one shard cut her. She couldn't catch a break, every broken piece of glass wanted her to bleed out and die. Perhaps she should.

"Let me-"

"Don't come near," Mary warned her. "You're-"

"I swear if your excuse is that I am pregnant, then I will slap you," Kenna snapped, coming over to help. "I'm not an invalid and trust me, Mary. I know a thing or two about broken glass."

Mary apologised quietly, letting Kenna take over as she stared at the large cut on her palm. She didn't mean to dig it in and now she hated the likely scar to form on it.

As if she wasn't ugly enough.

"What happened?" Bash asked, pulling his shirt on. He walked over and saw the broken glass first before his eyes landed on the dripping blood. "Shit. Mary, come with me."

Mary got up, feeling Kenna's comforting hand on her thigh before she headed out and followed Bash into the bathroom. She sat down on her favourite spot in the apartment - the toilet seat - and waited for him to retrieve the First Aid Kit. It seemed to be her new best friend, that kit.

"Do you think talking to a professional would help?" Bash asked, kneeling before her to start wiping the blood away with an antiseptic wipe.

Mary looked into his green eyes. "You're the first person to say that to my face. Francis and Catherine say it when they think I'm not listening."

"It can help," Bash said. "They're right."

"I don't want to," Mary snapped.

Bash flinched, his eyes casting back to her cut. "This isn't the first time you've been in this position. Kenna told me-"

"Bash, I like you, but I don't like you that much to tell you the things that go on in my head nor on my body," Mary sniped, rolling her eyes. "I just wish people would leave me alone."

"You want Francis to leave you alone?" Bash pointedly asked her.

"No."

"Seems contradictory," he replied, retrieving a plaster. "Mary, we all care about you-"

Mary covered his mouth with her other hand. "Bash, you don't get it. You don't know what is in my head right now. You don't know what happens when I close my eyes and try to sleep or when I walk down the street and turn to see someone that makes me feel as if I'm losing my breath in a bad way... I know you all care, but it's me. It's me it's happening to and you don't understand."

"Kenna understands," Bash said, making her eyes widen. He didn't see them, though and from his tone, she realised that he didn't know. "She said she did. I think it happened to someone you both know from school or something. She did say your private school was the centre of drama every day."

"Yeah," Mary breathed out, almost sighing in relief. "Kenna was everybody's friend, she knew everything and helped everyone..."

Bash gave her a soft smile. "And I guess in doing that, she neglected herself and her own needs. Until I came along."

"You're wonderful together, Bash," Mary said gently. "I'm glad you found her and fell in love with her. She's more of a perfect fit for you than I could have ever been."

"I didn't think that at first," Bash replied, laughing gently when he finished with her hand. "After her gloomy days and I saw the real her, I wasn't so sure. But when she called _me_ for help moving to France, I was honoured and I was glad that she valued our newfound friendship still. When she kissed me, I wasn't sure that it was _right_. Then that kiss quickly led to sex and before I knew it, I was hooked and I couldn't stop thinking about her until I called her up and asked her out on a date weeks later."

Mary grinned. "Kenna is a skilled fisherwoman," she teased him. "You poor fish."

"You are a weird analogy maker," Bash replied, getting up. "Right, you can move your hand and do whatever you want with it because I'm finished patching you up."

"Thank you, Bash," Mary told him earnestly. "I'm sorry about prolonging my stay, I-"

"It's fine. Just don't push us away, yeah?" Bash told her, lifting her chin up. "You'll be fine. I better get my things and go. It's getting late."

As Kenna saw her fiancé out, taking her sweet time in making out with him with his hand on their child much to Mary's amusement, Mary headed to the kitchen to grab some water. She stopped by the fridge and her eyes landed on a new picture on it.

A sonogram.

_'M.M. Beaton'_

Mary's fingers touched the grainy picture and her eyes watered as she saw the tiny little dots that were her niece or nephew. Turning to find the expecting parents _still_ saying 'goodbye', Mary took the sonogram and went to the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

She sat down on the bed and sat cross-legged, staring intently at the bundle of sacs on the sonogram. This baby was already perfect and tears started to slide down Mary's cheeks.

She really wanted a baby to call her own and seeing this brought back hard feelings. Memories that she and Francis had been excited twice before when they were informed that they were expecting before losing both by seven weeks.

Kenna was almost at seven weeks and Mary willed herself from wishing ill on her in-laws and dear friends. She would admit, she was disgustingly jealous and she spited herself from ever thinking like that.

Sighing, she placed the photo down and rubbed her tears away. It will happen to her, one day. She needn't worry, she had to practice patience. She had a fantastic husband and supportive friends and family, she could get that wish to come true.

For now, she had to be patient.

...

The day before Kenna and Bash's wedding, Mary was seated by Catherine at the apartment she'd been staying at for five weeks. She was nervous and she wondered what the woman had to say. She couldn't bear to think or know anything bad, she had a wedding to attend the next day.

"Mary, I've even better news," Catherine told her, taking one of Mary's hands. "One of the men finally confessed and pleaded 'guilty'. The rest followed, but the man who did it... He was found dead."

Mary gasped, her eyes wide. "D-Dead?"

"Yes."

"How?"

Catherine swallowed deeply. "I don't know," she falsely said. "But what matters is that you don't need to attend the trial or do anything. Mary, it's _over_."

Mary couldn't believe it. On one hand, she wanted to leap for joy, but on the other hand, she knew that despite the good news, her mind would still be playing harmful tricks on her. She knew she'll always remember his face, his breath as he kissed her forcefully, his hands as he ripped her clothes and raped her.

She gagged, rushing to the sink to throw up.

"Oh, Mary..." Catherine said, coming over to rub her back. "I know. It's good news, but that doesn't mean that the fears and the pain stops. You learn to live with it, but you may not always fully forget."

"I want to forget," Mary said, sobbing. "I want to make love with my husband without the fear of seeing my rapist in his place. I want Francis and I don't want to keep hurting him. You say that I always hurt him, but I don't do it intentionally. Catherine, I don't want to hurt-"

"Shh," Catherine cooed, bringing Mary into her arms. "I regret a lot of things when it comes to you. I'm sorry and I _know_ you are perfect for Francis. Mary, I promise you, you will get through this. There will be a day when you won't push him away and let him in again. I promise."

Mary shakily nodded against her neck. "Okay," she mumbled. "Thank you."

"You're so welcome."

"Where do I go from here?" Mary asked, terrified.

Catherine sighed. "You heal."

Mary took a shaky breath. "But what if I can't heal?"

"Mary-"

"What if I can't bear to have sex again? I want children, you know how much I do, but what if... what if I can't open myself up again?" Mary asked her mother-in-law.

Catherine shrugged. "All I'm saying is that I have nine children, Mary. And they all came after the rape."

Mary slowly nodded in agreement. She also reminded herself about Kenna's own testimony with Bash and now their future child. Both situations involved being raped and moving on to having healthy sexual relationships, one maybe too much.

"I can't even stand looking at my own body," Mary said numbly. "I feel disgusting. I look disgusting and I question myself: how did I let this happen?"

"Mary, I know how that feels. You blame other people and then you blame yourself and it's not healthy at all," Catherine started, placing a gentle hand on Mary's shoulder. "You stare at your body in the mirror and you wonder, 'will I ever love myself the way other people do again?'."

Mary sniffled, tears running down her cheeks. "There will be a bunch of mirrors everywhere tomorrow for the wedding... I can't avoid them."

Catherine held out her other hand and Mary tentatively took it. The older woman began slowly leading Mary into the master bedroom and walked Mary into the walk-in wardrobe where there was a long-standing mirror.

"Love yourself more than you love other people. And if you ever want someone to love, let it be your children because you won't seek validation from them ever," Catherine told her. "Francis, he's your husband and you'll change things or do certain things to please him, but you won't for your children. Love yourself hard as well as your children. Francis comes after because until you see the beauty within you and outside your soul, then you'll be able to let go of what happened and be happy with him."

She led Mary to stand in front of the mirror.

Mary simply looked at herself. She saw her red, tear-stained cheeks and nose. She saw the knee-length, high-collared flower dress she put on, borrowed from Kenna who asked her to model a few things for her. Her hair was done nicely, Kenna's help proving vital in how it turned out. They had had a wonderful time styling her hair and she felt better and happier.

"I'll give you a moment," Catherine said, leaving the wardrobe and closing the door.

Mary slowly undid the belt of the dress, letting the silk flow down as she let go after. She reached behind her back and began zipping it down until it reached its end.

She felt the dress loosen and she swallowed deeply, bringing her hands to take the dress off her shoulders. The second she saw her exposed shoulders, tears returned and she stopped, hugging her middle.

She had got dressed blindly, she didn't need to see her body.

The injuries had healed, the bruises had gone, but the memories still present.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she took the dress off and let it pool around her feet. She waited a while until opening her eyes and staring at the bra and underwear set she wore. It was boring, nothing exciting. She felt like an old woman with the underwear but the bra was moderately modern and age-perfect.

Mary brought a hand to her neck, looking at her body in all angles. She was just a normal shape and size, _her_ normal shape and size. She and her friends used to be jealous of Kenna's figure, Mary's hips were slightly bigger and her breasts smaller than her best friend's. She knew it was unfair to tease her friend of being 'perfect', but that was because she never saw herself as 'perfect'. Her nose was too big, her lips too plump...

"No," she whispered shakily, shaking those thoughts from her head. She wasn't an anxious, teenager who cared about body image.

This was _her_ body and her husband goddamn loved it.

She let out a laugh. It was soft and a sob escaped after, but her eyes were happy and she twirled around to admire herself. She didn't even think about her rapist or those men, she thought about how sexy she _was_. How beautiful and _perfect_ she _was_.

They could rape her, but they would never break her nor take away her beauty. Because Mary Valois, formerly Mary Stuart, was owned by herself and she answered to herself. Her body was hers and no one else's and she was proud of it.

Putting her dress back on, Mary soon returned to see Catherine holding up a picture in her hand. She watched as Catherine turned the frame to show her with a soft smile.

"You were kids... So young, beautiful and innocent..." Catherine said, sighing. "Where did Kenna get this?"

Mary shrugged. "My mum printed off a bunch, I guess. Catherine..."

"Mary, I won't say you will heal straight away, but for now, the only person who loves you more than the world is you. Accept yourself and in turn, everyone will follow."

Mary nodded, happy sobs escaping her lips. "Thank you."

"Right, I guess we should be getting ready. There's a wedding tomorrow."

Mary blushed, grinning. She definitely had plans for her friends' special day.


	6. Chapter 6

****It's short, I know. Uni's been hard this week!****

* * *

"Francis?" Mary called out, blowing out some air of relief from her lips. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Francis laughed, handing her a champagne flute. "It is really packed. I didn't know we knew this many people."

Mary laughed, slipping some hair behind her ear. "I think it's mostly Kenna's side. Anyway, can we find somewhere quiet? Perhaps before Kenna realises that I have gone from her side."

Francis nodded and took her hand, leading her outside into the cold air. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

Mary grinned. "Well, not entirely. But who can feel crappy at a wedding? It screams joy and oozes good feelings."

"Remember ours?"

"You almost set your suit on fire," she stated, giggling. "Thank God they went with electronic candles and not real ones."

Francis looked at her, searching her eyes. He could definitely see the anxiety in them, but he didn't bring it up. He simply placed a kiss on her forehead and lifted her chin so their eyes met.

"Mary-"

"Francis, come to the apartment with me. Now."

Francis frowned a little. "We can't just leave-"

"They'll go straight to their honeymoon. We've got the place to ourselves..." She trailed off, her voice barely above a whisper. "Francis, I miss you. In more ways than one and... I've denied you this-"

"Don't you dare say that you've denied me anything. Mary, you being raped isn't going to change anything between us," Francis cut her off. "I love you. We are a family and we will always be a family no matter what."

"And I want that to be the case," she told him. "I want a child, we're ready for a child, we've been ready for a child for _years_. This has put things into perspective-"

"Mary, you don't think it's too soon?"

"Too soon to want my husband?" Mary retorted. "Francis, I was raped and I will never forget about that. I can either dwell on it or move on. It's over, the guy is gone and I'll never see or hear him again. Am I not allowed to feel something towards my own husband?"

"I..."

"So, me being raped means that I'll never be able to have sex again?" Mary asked him, cupping his cheek. "Francis, I am sure about this. I have thought about it and yes, there will be some requests, but I am sure."

Francis nodded. "Requests like what?"

"Can we keep the lights off?" She asked quietly. "I don't think I can handle..."

"Yeah, of course."

"Okay," she breathed out. "Let's go."

...

As requested, the lights are off and Mary blindly took her dress off. She could handle her own eyes on her body, but she felt that Francis's gaze would be too much.

"Mary?"

"Yeah, just taking this dress off. God, there's so much that comes with it," she said lightly. "Just get on the bed."

"Okay," Francis said, getting under the duvet. He watched as her silhouette got ready or reversed ready. He let out a smile, looking away when she turned to face him.

He felt the bed dip and the duvet raise as she got under and her hand met his chest. He placed a hand over hers and turned his head to meet her lips in a soft kiss.

"I love you. Even if you're not ready-"

He was silenced by another kiss, this one going deeper as she shuffled closer to lay right beside him. He dared not move or touch her without her permission and it seemed to annoy her, their lips coming apart.

"You're my husband, I trust you," Mary whispered as if she read his mind.

Francis sighed. "Mary..." He gently removed her hand from his chest as his eyes watered. "I can't."

Mary's face fell and she set her jaw, getting out of the bed and heading to grab a borrowed robe. "Really? So, I do disgust you. You hate me."

"God, Mary, no! Never," Francis cried out. "I love you so much, but I don't want to hurt you."

"Francis-"

"I don't want you to freak out and think I'm him because... I'm not him and t-the kiss, you stopped and wiped your lips. I... I'm scared you'll reject me again," he whispered sadly. "I can't handle you rejecting me."

"Reject you?" She repeated, getting back into the bed. "Francis, I would never reject you!"

"It's like every time we take a step forward, we take ten back," he told her. "Mary, I don't want you to feel forced to make love with me. I want you to see me and only me and not him and be scared that I'd hurt you."

Mary looked away. He was frightened to hurt her and she had pushed him away time and time again. God, she really did love this man and his thoughtfulness, she couldn't be annoyed.

"It's me who feels like rejected," she told him. "I don't want you to reject me, but I do want this. I want to make love with you and try for a baby and do all the things we used to do. I want us to go back to our normal again."

Francis let out a soft sob and closed his eyes. "Okay."

"Yeah?" Mary whispered, smiling a little. "Can we do that?"

"Yeah."

She slipped her robe off and pressed her lips against his, coming over to straddle his hips. His hands met her waist and she deepened the kiss, slipping her tongue into his mouth as she began to grind against him.

He let out a moan and she sighed in relief mentally, trailing her kisses away from his lips, to his neck, his collarbone.

She pulled back to say, "Is it okay if I take control?"

"Yeah, of course," Francis replied, nodding quickly. "Whatever you want."

She smiled, reaching a hand to turn on the bedside lamp. "I want to see your eyes."

"They're right here."

"I want them open as we..." She trailed off, setting herself ready. "Thank you for being patient."

"Always."

Mary blushed, pressing a long kiss on his lips, their eyes still on each other. With a deep breath when they pulled apart, she felt ready.


	7. Chapter 7

**This will be the last chapter! I hope you enjoy! ATEOTB will be updated very soon!**

* * *

Mary's eyes fluttered open when she felt the rays of the morning sun hit them. Shielding her eyes she felt lips press against her bare back and she smiled widely, turning around to meet those lips with a sweet kiss.

"Morning," she whispered, cupping Francis's cheek.

"Morning yourself," he replied, kissing her forehead. "Did you sleep well?"

She nodded. "I didn't have any nightmares if that's where you're getting at."

"I'm glad, love," Francis said. "Want to make breakfast with me?"

Mary grinned, nodding. "I'd love that. First, let me check in with Kenna and everyone else who may have been worried about our disappearing act. Then, I'll need a shower and-hmm..."

Their lips moulded and Francis chuckled, pulling away. "You talk too much," he stated. "Would it be wrong of me to ask if we could... go again?"

Mary was stunned. "You want to have sex again in the daylight?" She breathed out. "Uh-"

"We don't have to. As I said, everything is at _your_ pace," Francis told her, brushing her hair from her eyes. "I wouldn't mind. I can't get enough of you."

Mary blushed furiously. "God, Francis..." She muttered, giggling. "But I think I'm alright for now if you don't mind."

"Not at all."

"It's just that... I'm a bit _sore_," she said quietly. "I don't know, I'm just not comfortable right this minute."

"Oh, okay. Yeah, definitely. Well, you go and get ready and I'll sort out breakfast."

Mary bit her lip as she watched him get out of bed and put his trousers on. She could see the birthmark on his lower hip, the one she loved so much despite his displeasure for its size. Her eyes continued to go down lower.

"Hey, sexy?" She called out.

"What?" Francis asked, turning around with a smile.

"Nice arse," Mary said, giggling when he threw his shirt at her. "Now go and make me some food."

Francis bowed. "As you wish, your majesty."

...

Kenna turned her head to the side, giving Bash a small smile. "Hey, can we go inside? The seawater is making me nauseous now."

"Alright," Bash said, getting up and offering her his hand. "Wife."

Kenna giggled, getting up to kiss him. "Thank you, Husband."

As they walked towards their cabin, Kenna felt sick. She felt sick for a number of reasons. Her morning sickness had started, her seasickness was horrible and she now realised that she couldn't keep her past from Bash any longer.

She had to tell him, it was awful to be dishonest. Now especially as they were married, she should be able to tell him anything. She would lay out her truth and they'll get through it together, ready for the next thing to come their way.

As soon as they got to their room, Kenna slipped her wedges off and took a seat at the little dining nook by the window. She beckoned Bash to come over and he slid into the booth beside her, lifting an arm over her shoulders as she leant on him.

"Not really enjoying our cruise so much now," she mumbled lightly.

"We did book it before we found out that you were pregnant. Sorry," he replied, kissing the side of her head. "We could have given it away."

"It's fine," she told him, admiring her wedding band. "It's a whole month with just you and me and no problems or issues except..."

Bash frowned. "Except?"

"I need to tell you something," she said, slipping out of his hold. "I'm not sure how you'll take it."

"Did you cheat on me?" He asked.

"God, no!" Kenna cried out, shaking her head.

He laughed. "Then it can't be as bad as that. Unless, if you've killed someone then I still won't care."

Kenna chuckled lightly. "I've not cheated or killed anyone for that matter," she told him. "Well, this has got to do with you supporting me when I was going through that hard time."

Bash froze. "Oh. The time when you were stressed out about school and-"

"I wasn't stressed out. I could easily score high marks without any effort," she cut him off. "I was reliving something."

"Reliving what, Kenna? You're scaring me," Bash whispered, eyeing her curiously.

Kenna's eyes fell. "I was raped, Bash."

Bash stared at her in confusion, hurt, disbelief, anger. She couldn't read his eyes, but all she knew was that everything had changed that minute and she suddenly couldn't bear the idea of him being with her. Her damaged self and his normal self. She looked away.

"When?" He asked.

"When I was fourteen," Kenna replied, turning to face him.

"Who?"

Kenna sniffled, tears springing to her eyes. "Does it matter?"

"It does," Bash said.

"Why?"

"Because I'll kill him for touching you-"

"Bash, it's in the past!" Kenna cried out, taking his hands in hers. "He's gone."

Bash took a sharp breath. "Apparently he isn't because you're telling me. Was he someone you knew or a stranger?"

"H-He was my private tutor," she admitted. "It happened ten years ago and I've moved on-"

"Fourteen," he breathed out. "A kid. Was it only the one time?"

She shook her head. "It happened four times. I was stupid, young and I never fought back."

"God," Bash muttered. "How...? _Four_...?" He stood up, pacing the room. "Weren't your parents there or-"

"They were at work mostly," Kenna said. "He told me he loved me. I believed him, I didn't know any better. I had unprotected sex with a man old enough to be my older brother and I never said anything until..."

Bash stopped, turning to her. "Until what?"

"I got pregnant," Kenna whispered, her tears falling down her cheeks. "I got rid of it and I didn't tell my parents - only Mary because she held my hand."

"Fuck."

"Bash?"

"Yeah?"

"Since then, I've been on birth control. Recently, I forgot a day and..." She looked down, placing a hand on her small bump. "Well, here we are."

Bash turned away, wiping his tears. "Did you want kids?"

"Not at first. Not after what happened. Bash, I felt shit for having an abortion and you know how it is... We're Catholic, it's a sin! But you, you changed my mind and you didn't even know it," she said, getting up to meet him. "You saved my life. I would have killed myself and be done with it if you hadn't have texted at that moment when I felt so alone and disgusting. I was a monster and you didn't see that."

Bash cupped her cheeks. "You're not alone or disgusting. God understands why you did what you had to. No one should ever go through that alone. God, Kenna, you've so much to offer and..." He swallowed deeply. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," Kenna said, wiping his tears. "It's not mine or my parents' or Mary's... It's _his_ and his alone." She took his hands and placed them on her bump. "We're a family. Whatever happened in the past that is shit, we don't think about that from this moment on. We're going to be happy, so goddamn happy it hurts okay?"

"Okay."

"Yeah?" She breathed out, kissing him softly.

"Yeah." He cupped her cheek. "Wait, did you help Mary with this weighing on your shoulders?"

Kenna nodded. "She's my best friend, I would do anything for her. After she helped me through my ordeal."

"You could have talked to me. That would have set you back or-"

"I'm fine," Kenna assured him. "Mary's fine, we're all fine."

"Tell me everything. Don't keep things like this from me because I don't want you suffering in silence when I can be there for you," Bash told her. "I want you to be happy."

Kenna smiled brightly. "I am happy. I've got you and Pea."

They began to laugh, wiping each other's tears away in between kisses. They later ended up in bed, asleep with both of their hands on their unborn child.

...

_Nine Months Later_

Kenna knocked on the door, quietly opening it as her hand remained on the back of her child's back who was strapped to her chest. "Someone wants to meet their new cousin!"

Mary giggled, beckoning the other family inside as Francis helped her sit up. "She's still asleep, but he can say 'hi."

Kenna nodded, carefully taking her child out of the baby carrier and into her arms. "Robin, meet Anne. Annie, meet Robin."

"She's so beautiful," Bash said, hovering over Kenna's shoulders. "And so blonde."

Francis chuckled. "I know. She has more hair than I do at this point."

"She's our miracle," Mary said, turning to Francis with a faint blush on her cheeks. "How's the house-hunting going?"

"A few setbacks," Bash said with a wince. "But we've made the room where you conceived Anne into a lovely little nursery for now."

"You're never going to let that go, aren't you?" Francis asked, laughing.

"Nope. I'll even keep the apartment so when she grows up, I'll show her _exactly_ where she was made," Bash told him.

Mary giggled. "I'll have her know that she was made out of love and joy," she told them. "Regardless of where."

"Imagine coming home from your blissful honeymoon to see your brother and his wife _thoroughly_ enjoying your kitchen counter," Bash mumbled, rolling his eyes. "You have a home, a rented apartment, yet my home was violated. I couldn't eat from there for weeks, I had to order out."

Kenna hit his chest. "Oh, shut up! You and I have done many things to that kitchen."

"Dear God," Mary muttered, laughing. "Now I'm curious."

"In our defence, you were gone for a month," Francis said. "And you need someone to house-sit. We just went with it."

"Next time, we're asking Claude," Kenna said before freezing. "That's an even worse idea. No. You know what? We'll double up on security, it's fine."

Her eyes went back to the small newborn in the crib and she smiled. Then her eyes landed on her son and then Mary. It was as if both women knew what the other was thinking.

"Alright, gentlemen," Catherine said, entering the room. "I need a moment alone with my daughters-in-law and our new babies!" She went up to the crib, gently pinching Anne's cheeks. "She's so beautiful. Now, get out."

Francis shot up from his seat and led his brother out, both of them settling into a conversation about sports. They closed the door behind them and Catherine turned to Mary.

"Do you understand what I told you a while ago, Mary?" She asked, taking Francis's seat. "About monsters?"

Mary nodded, briefly eyeing Kenna. "We can't escape them."

"No, we can't," Catherine said. "But we do have our knights in shining armour to deal with them."

"We do?" Mary asked with a small smile.

Catherine gave her a smile back. As warm and convincing as ever. "Of course, we do. You have Francis and he's there for you. And now, you have Anne and you'll have more children to follow after... You may feel off some days, but as long as you hold onto those you love, you can get through your darkest nights."

"So we can escape them? Our monsters?"

Catherine gave her a look. "The monsters were never the men who raped us," she said gently. "They were already in us. They'll never go and once you go there, you can never go back. They're the worst parts of us, but they don't _define_ us."

"They don't," Mary agreed.

"Stay happy, Mary," Catherine said, placing a hand on Mary's. "And you too, Kenna. "The world is a lot better when we let things go and smell the fresh air."

Mary smiled. "It is, isn't it?"

"It is indeed."


End file.
